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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23827219">I don’t mind you coming here wasting all my time</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessAnimal/pseuds/UselessAnimal'>UselessAnimal</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Eurovision Song Contest RPF, Festival di Sanremo RPF</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Pining, Some drama and some humor, because obviously</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-06</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 16:55:17</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,877</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23827219</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/UselessAnimal/pseuds/UselessAnimal</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ermal Meta was an ordinary university student with an ordinary wish to just do well for himself and for his family. Caught up in his university life he longed to find his purpose and just be satisfied with who he is. He also dreamed of a future where he could share that with somebody. None of those dreams included Fabrizio  – his best friend. None at all.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Ermal Meta/Fabrizio Moro</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>38</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>"..'Cause when you're standin' oh so near<br/>I kinda lose my mind'.."</p><p>Love that song.</p><p>Well this garbage happened and it might as well happen here also, not only in my Word file.<br/>Probably not going to be super long but it is not like I have loads to do in a one bedroom apartment during quarantine.<br/>Massively OOC (obviously) and very cheesy. I love me some cheese. </p><p>Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Meet Ermal - undersleeper, over-stresser extraordinaire.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Man, that wall does seem more interesting than this sociolinguistics homework, but you should probably still be looking at the book.”</p><p>Ermal was zoning out, this was the third time he read the same sentence not understanding a single word. For the last couple of minutes he was staring at the wall trying to convince himself that he needed to pass this class, pass this year and graduate so as not to be a homeless man.</p><p>“I will never get this done” He complained.</p><p>A. Homeless. Man. He reminded himself, accentuating every word. It’s cold on the streets in winter.</p><p>“Yes you will and so will I.” Sofia said. She was the only thing keeping him sane at the moment and probably the other way around. They were hanging out in his dorm room trying with all their might to prepare the essay due tomorrow. The boring, bland essay about the boring and bland theory of a subject that hadn’t sounded boring and bland to Ermal before the semester started.  And now he was going to fail, lose his scholarship and get kicked out and live on the streets.</p><p>He probably wouldn’t last till winter anyways, probably wouldn’t last even a day, what with the lack of any street smarts or imposing looks. Probably would accidentally take someone else’s garbage fries or something and would get stabbed. That might actually be a slightly better death than starving. If the person doing the stabbing isn’t some kind of psychopath and doesn’t actually enjoy torturing his victims.</p><p>“What do you think – which is a better death – being stabbed or starving to death?”</p><p>“Well if it is quick and the killer knows what they are doing probably stabbing. Also - the fuck?”</p><p>“That’s what I was thinking too. Starving takes a long time doesn’t it?”</p><p>Ermal looked at the wall again imagining his gory end.</p><p>“Hey, really, write please, there’s…” she looked at her phone “7 hours and 33 minutes left until we have to hand these in. I really wish I could get an hour of sleep still. I have like 500 words left on this thing. How are you doing?”</p><p>“I am a dead man, Sof” he hid his face in his hands. “I was stabbed in some dark alley because I failed to write this essay in sociolinguistics and didn’t graduate and lived on the streets. Well, lived is maybe not the right term considering that the moment I stepped into an alleyway I got stabbed. Hanging out by the wrong trashcan. Because that would be exactly the way I go. ”</p><p>“You haven’t been stabbed yet, but distract me some more and you might be” she murmured through her teeth.</p><p>Ermal’s phone pinged. Apparently Fabri was still awake too.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>I just got home from work, how are you doing?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ermal quickly snapped a selfie of himself lying his forehead down on the book and sent it to Fabrizio.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Hmm I don’t think that’s how you are supposed to study.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Shut up, at this point I am desperate to try anything.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Have you tried actually reading that? :D</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ermal giggled. Totally in a manly way though.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t mock my pain, Bizio.  :p</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Don’t worry, I am going to sleep in a second anyways and, will let you enjoy the world of academia on your own.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Why where you at work so late?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Busy</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He smiled at his phone at the eloquent answer and wished his friend a good night. He was probably exhausted. Running his own business wasn’t easy, especially when the staff consisted of him and only one other person; especially when there are also two small kids to take care off as well.</p><p>
  <em>Good night to you too, hope you will conquer that homework not the other way around. x</em>
</p><p>He wished Fabri would keep him company for a bit longer but also knew that the guy needed his sleep. Bizio was his best friend. They had found each other a couple of years ago, when Ermal’s piece of shit car had broken down in the middle of nowhere between Bari and Rome. Fabri had actually stopped and tried to help him, and when nothing worked he actually towed him back to Rome and fixed the car in the car shop he worked in then. The guy is a sweetheart and the best thing that happened to Ermal. He never thought he would find somebody who was so in sync with him.</p><p>“I can see you flirting there!”</p><p>“I am not flirting, I am speaking to Bizio.”</p><p>“Mhm one doesn’t exclude the other.”</p><p>Contrary to Fabrizio, Sofia was a curse cast upon Ermal by unknown Gods. He loved the girl but Jesus when she was set on something, there was no stopping her. They got to know each other by the sheer luck of being in the same classes and pushed to do a project together. They had argued all throughout the project, all throughout they Bachelor’s studies in university and now in Master's also. They had become great friends along the way. It was mostly thanks to her and her harsh motivation that he even graduated. Also no one in the world was allowed to drag Ermal as she did.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“I am so, so close here…”</p><p>“Ew, TMI. Also, not in front of me.”</p><p>“Stop being so disgusting,” Ermal scrunched his forehead “There’s nothing less sexy than these Sociolinguistics essays.”</p><p>“I don’t know I think this is pretty sexy actually,” She turned the back cover of her book to him “Look at this face, who wouldn’t want to tap that?”</p><p>“Mm, totally. If I had to choose a man that would be him.”</p><p>“See? Super sexy, that moustache definitely does it for me.” She closed her book and her eyes also. “Ok, I am done here, will you proof-read for me?”</p><p>“I don’t know how much good my proof reading will do at 5 am in the morning.” He rubbed his tired eyes. I guess he might as well give up too. “But I am done also. Proof read mine?”</p><p>“Give it here. God, I want to die. Or sleep. I don’t know, whichever is faster.”</p><p>“Will you stay here for the night?” He looked at the window where he could already see the sun rising “Well, whatever is left of it anyways.”  </p><p>“Yeah if you don’t mind. I would prefer to sleep those 5 minutes rather than spend them walking back to my room.”</p><p>"I say this to you out of love, Sof - this essay sucks." </p><p>"Oh give me a break, my brain doesn't work anymore." She said rubbing her face. "Yours is not great either. Let's just hope we get a passing grade here. Small miracles, right?" </p><p>Small miracles, Ermal could use one of those. He crawled into his bed, looking at the time on his phone. 5:20. Just great, he might squeeze even 2 hours of sleep in, if he didn't eat breakfast in the morning and fell asleep right away. Unlikely. Sofia fell down next to him on the bed. </p><p>"Gnight" she murmured into the pillow. </p><p>"Night" he answered, knowing that he won't fall asleep that easily. Sleep evaded him on the best of days and this was definitely not the best day. It kind of helped when he was sharing a bed with somebody, definitely had been nice with his girlfriend once. In the case of Sofia it was definitely different. Not in a bad way though, she had helped him through lots of bad nights when anxiety and pressure of school and thoughts of inevitable doom overwhelmed him.  </p><p>It was far from the first time they stayed in each other’s rooms for the night. Lots of other students thought that they were a couple, but they weren’t. Ermal didn’t really think of her that way, their bond was different. Sofia would laugh in the face of anyone calling her Ermal’s girlfriend. She wasn’t really a relationships kind of girl. Lots of people were falling in love with her but she friendzoned everyone so quickly they didn’t even get offended.</p><p>Ermal on the other hand was a romantic and would love to be in a relationship, but he didn’t seem to find any girls he was into. Since his break-up with his girlfriend a year ago he never found anybody who would strike his interest. Not like he had lots of time for dating anyways - his life was pretty full at the moment anyways – what with the last year of Masters Studies, concerts at the student bar with his group (well not really *his* group, he was just the guitarist, anyways, but they got some money from that) and the never-ending search for a job he would actually enjoy; worries about the future never seemed to cease. And also he had lots of friends, not like he was lonely and he was lucky really, all of that was also enough.  It had to be for the moment.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you enjoy my attempts at being funny. :)<br/>Thank you for leaving kudos and comments, that means a lot!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Ermal is not very good at handling failure, but then again, who is?</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A bit more of character building ahead (well, I don't know how capable I am at that lol) </p><p>As you will see I have moved some stuff, I mean age differences and all that jazz, around because this is an AU and nothing matters. </p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The essay had sucked. Ermal knew that it wasn’t the best, obviously, it was done in 5 hours from midnight until 5 am. Ermal didn’t expect the best grade but he hadn’t expected to fail too. He <em>hated</em> sociolinguistics. For a subject that is basically about society and language that Ermal was actually pretty excited about, the professor managed to ruin it for everybody. The classes were so dull and the work they had to do always sucked and consisted of writing essays about the theoretical studies already conducted. No research, no input, no opinions (that weren’t identical to the professor’s at least) just reading old books written too long ago. That’s why he always left the homework until the last possible day. At least Sofia had gotten a passing grade. Ermal was a bit jealous and bitter right now and hated himself for that too. He was a terrible student and a terrible friend apparently too.</p><p>He didn’t want to be alone; he knew that he would spend all of the evening lost in thoughts and talk himself into another panic attack and end up not sleeping. Repeat the cycle ad infinitum. It was 5 in the afternoon and his classes were over. Maybe Fabri was also off?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ciao, are you home yet?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Fabrizio didn’t make him wait, surprisingly. All of the times Ermal had sworn he would glue that phone to his hand had maybe paid off?</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Yea, I am home, making dinner. Want to come over?</em>
</p><p> </p><p>Ermal smiled at the screen. Of course Bizio read his mood.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Would love to :)</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Fair warning – kids are with me today.</em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>That only makes this better!</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He loved Fabrizio’s kids, they were the best. They also wouldn’t ask any questions he didn’t want to answer right and now and definitely would distract him from the terrible day he was having.</p><p> </p><p>Fabrizio opened the door on the third ring of the bell.</p><p>“Sorry, sorry, pretty hectic in here” he ran his hands through his hair that already was looking pretty wild and leaned in for a quick hug. “Come on in! Dinner will be ready… well let’s just say it will be ready.”</p><p>Ermal entered the apartment, sounds of children laughter and screams were heard from the living room. At least probably from there, they mostly spent their time in the spacious living room, preferring it to their actual room. Ermal had helped to clean up the toys in the evening many times before.</p><p>“Don’t worry; I can distract the kids for a bit, so that you can finish up in the kitchen.”</p><p> “Emmal!”</p><p>Ah the best sound in the world. A toddler, dressed in a green jumpsuit appeared in the doorway.</p><p>“Hi, princess!” Ermal took Anita in his arms and spun her around. “What have you been up to lately?”</p><p>She babbled excitedly about her new plush hippo and was pulling at his jumper.  </p><p>Fabrizio disappeared into the kitchen.</p><p>Libero also clung to his leg. </p><p>“Hello there, big guy.” Ermal said.</p><p>Ermal and Libero had become pals right when he first met him. No one else could stand Libero’s musical story book anymore (Fabri had regretted hundreds of times buying something that made sounds, kids could listen to the same stuff <em>forever</em>) but Ermal had sat with him for hours listening to the same repetitive children songs. And that was apparently all that was necessary; the 4 year old had showed him all of his toys babbling on about everything that was fascinating to him at that precise moment and Ermal listened and asked questions. Now two years later things hadn’t changed much, only the kid was growing by hours and his interests changed daily. Every time he came by, Libero had something new to tell him. Ermal was always ready to listen.</p><p>He really loved children and even though he was never patient in general, he had all the patience with kids. Part of it was that he wanted every child to have the childhood he never got to have. So he could really sit for hours reading with Libero and let Anita play with his hair.</p><p>He sometimes babysat the kids, especially right after Fabri’s and Giada’s breakup which coincided with Fabri starting his new business. Things were hard then, now all seemed better, both parents shared custody and both took care of the children. Ermal kind of expected that they would end up back together one day.  They really had been a nice couple  and nice to look at when they were together; everyone had said so. The thought caused something bitter to come to the forefront of his emotions again. There he went, being a bad friend. First Sofia, now Fabri as well. Could he even be a good human being for 5 minutes? He needed a distraction from this.  </p><p>“Ok guys, what have I missed?” he asked excitedly, knowing that the kids would fill his mind with all of their stories.</p><p>The children rushed to fill him in about all the details of their days. The lives of 2 and 6 year olds were very busy after all. Ermal could barely keep up, considering that they both were talking at the same time. Apparently math teacher in Libero’s school was super cool and he really liked math now and Anita had left her favorite doll at her mother’s place and that is why she had gotten the pink hippo she was showing to him at the moment, Libero really wanted that new Star Wars Lego set that was always on TV ads and both hoped that dad would take them to the aquarium (“see the fish” were Anita’s precise words) because hippos live in water too, did you know? Ermal didn’t have the heart to say that it is doubtful that the aquarium would host hippos. Did the zoo? He would have to see about that.</p><p>“Alright, wash your hands; we will eat in a second!” voice from the kitchen yelled.</p><p>“Ok, you heard your dad, let’s go.” Ermal helped Anita, lifting her up so she could reach the sink. It still felt so odd. He knew Anita since she was still just a couple of months old, he had been there through the crawling, through first words and first steps. And now she was a toddler. The children really were an indicator of how much two years could contain. While he was stuck endlessly writing essays, learning grammar and fighting with language history, Anita had grown up effortlessly.</p><p>Dinner was a loud affair. Although Fabri tried his best to get kids to eat more and speak less, they clearly were too excited to focus on food. Ermal ended up finishing Anita’s plate because at some point she decided she was full and kept extending her spoon to him.</p><p>Evening passed in a blur through this and that, doing dishes (no, Fabri, you cooked, I can clean up, can you stop fussing please) Libero’s homework (apparently math wasn’t so exciting when it had to be done at home), dancing with Anita (Fabri kept laughing at him trying his best to keep up with the energetic toddler), putting them both to bed which obviously started in tears (“Emmal, story!” “Alright, I will read, to you, can we agree to go to bed then?”). Ermal, caught up in the domesticity and enjoying every bit completely forgot about existence of anything else but this.</p><p>When he came back from the children’s bedroom, Fabri was making tea in the kitchen. Ermal sat on the couch, eyes closed, just enjoying the quiet sounds of cups moving, water being poured and soft steps coming into the living room. He felt the weight of another body sitting down next to him on the couch. Fabrizio was so warm.</p><p>“Ermal, have you slept today at all?” </p><p>“Define ‘sleep’ ” He had closed his eyes at night that should probably count for something.</p><p>“Ermal…” Fabrizio sighed handing him a cup of tea. “You should really start taking care of yourself.”</p><p>“I try Fabri, it’s just that it is so hard to turn off the thoughts, you know?” He took a sip of the tea. Peppermint. “The moment I close my eyes I see all of the stuff I haven’t managed to do, the stuff I have planned for the next day, for the next month.”</p><p>“All of this will kill you, you know.”</p><p>“I can’t stop, I need to graduate and find a job.” Ermal sighed “And in order for me to graduate I have to still be on the scholarship for this last year.”</p><p>“You are burning out, sweetheart.”</p><p>The endearment made Ermal feel better for a second. He couldn’t understand if the warmth in his belly was from the tea or from Fabri being so sweet to him. Maybe both. But he didn’t deserve this, he was a failure and he felt so gross.</p><p>“I failed that essay I was writing a couple of days ago…” Ermal let his head fall back on the couch cushions. “It was the first graded assignment of the year in this subject. And I know it is not the end of the world but it feels like it is a start of the downfall where I end up with nothing in the end.”</p><p>“One essay doesn’t mean anything.”</p><p>“But what if I fail another assignment? I will fail the whole course and then I am well and truly fucked Fabri.”</p><p>“Ermal you work so hard, one essay will hardly shake the hard work you put into your studies. Professors see it too probably.”</p><p>“Not professor Ricci. He <em>hates</em> me. The feeling is mutual, but what can I do? He has all the power over my grade and if he fails me I am done. ” </p><p>Fabri hugged him, rubbing his shoulders a little. Ermal felt the warmth of that all over. Not the tea then, but that wasn’t news. Ermal had been trying to ignore these feelings for a while now, blaming them on small coincidences and other ‘teas’. But he couldn’t ignore how nice this felt. Fabrizio’s hugs made everything better always.</p><p>“Ermal you are so strong, you will manage this. Only one year left, right? Even less if you consider it’s already start of October.”  He ruffled Ermal’s curls and slid his hand down to hold Ermal’s hand.</p><p>“I should really head back.” The tea was finished. As much as he didn’t want to head back to his lonely dorm room he knew he didn’t really belong to this family. He didn’t belong here with Bizio.  Fabri didn’t deserve dealing with his issues all the time. He had already done so much for him, Ermal treasured moments like these when he could share the absolute joy of having a family around him. </p><p>“You sure? You are always welcome here. I know the couch probably isn’t the most comfortable, but it is pretty late.” Fabri was still holding his hand. Ermal wished he could stay forever, with Bizio looking at him like he was someone important, someone precious. </p><p>That couch was actually the most comfortable place Ermal had ever slept on. And he also enjoyed all the perks that came with sleeping on that couch, for example seeing Fabrizio in the mornings - hair an absolute disaster (although that part didn’t change during the day also), still in his pajamas, his stupid tattoos on display, barefoot. He was always still half asleep when he started preparing breakfast for the children. Ermal had once tried to help him with the food and ended up burning his fingers and the pancakes also. He was banned from cooking since then. Ermal smiled at the memory of Fabri applying the foam for burns on his fingers and muttering about how he was not allowed to use the stove ever. But he couldn’t stay here tonight, he would enjoy it too much and he didn’t deserve it. Fabrizio really didn’t have to deal with his shit; he had to figure it out on his own.</p><p>“Thank you but no, I will head back. Lectures start early and all that good stuff. I will be ok Fabri, you don’t have to worry.”</p><p>“I always worry about you.” Fabrizio said in a serious tone. “Call me when you are back at the dorms, ok?</p><p>Ermal grinned. “Alright, I will call you. Are you sure you will pick up though?”</p><p>“What an asshole you are” he still laughed though.</p><p>Although Ermal still thought about all the shit he still had to deal with and how he wasn’t dealing with any of it, he felt immensely lighter when walking back to dorms, his mind kept wandering back to the feeling of Fabrizio's attention on him as well as his hands. He could probably try sleeping tonight. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading / leaving kudos! </p><p>See you next chapter!  (that is very presumptuous of me I will stop now)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Chapter 3</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Whatever Giada said, Fabrizio was happy right now. He had made peace with how his life was going.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A POV change because I like those.</p>
<p>Let's dive in and see whats going on in Bizio's mind. </p>
<p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When you have two kids, time tends to pass in an extra fast pace. Especially when parenting is done alone. Breakfasts, trips to school and kindergarten, work and dinners blurred in a never-ending cycle. Fabrizio loved it though and wouldn’t change it for anything.  And he wasn’t even really alone in this – he had Giada. Well, she now lived on a different street in a different house and with a different man, but he still could rely on her for support with the kids and he did the same for her. They had their schedule of when and who would take care of the children but the logistics of that changed more often than not. And more often than not it changed last minute too.</p>
<p>“Thank you so much for taking them today and not tomorrow like we had agreed before.” Giada said while trying to get the stuck zipper of Anita’s coat to move while Anita was wailing loudly. “This week is going to be a nightmare.”</p>
<p>“What happened anyways?” he asked while gently taking her hands away from the coat and not letting her ruin it. It was only a bit of scarf stuck in the zipper.</p>
<p>“It’s only that this job is going so badly, the clients are jerking me around all day long and now they want to meet up tomorrow morning to show me the location. Again. It’s a church, I’ve been in that church, I’ve even been in that church <em>with them</em>. Eugh.”</p>
<p>“Wedding?”</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes and nodded. “Wedding.”</p>
<p>Zipper undone, Anita much happier; Fabrizio could finally focus on the conversation he was having.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, are they at least paying well?”</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t have agreed otherwise.”</p>
<p>Giada was a photographer. She liked the photography for the art of it, but the weddings was where the money was. Fabrizio could recall springs and summers where he wouldn’t see his girlfriend for weekends at all.</p>
<p>“Oh shit, it’s the groom calling. Again. It’s 9 PM! What can possibly be that important?” she was quietly fuming at her phone “Ok I guess I will be going, still gotta get some hours of sleep in.”</p>
<p>“Good luck with your wedding!”</p>
<p>“Thanks, although it seems that luck has ditched me with this couple.” she was already picking up the phone, her customer pleasing voice kicking in.</p>
<p>He closed the doors behind her and went to greet the children. He knew he had to put them to bed as soon as possible, but he had missed them. He always missed them when they were away. The apartment was too quiet and clean without them. When entering the living room he saw already how things had gone back to the usual messiness. Kids where here for just 5 minutes. At moments like these he realized how absolutely alone he was when they weren’t around.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It was the evening of Thursday night. Fabrizio was stuck in a loop between making dinner and making sure kids didn’t either break every single piece of furniture he owned or break their own limbs. They were extra hyper today. Serves him right for caving in, going to store with them and buying sweets.</p>
<p>
  <em>Ciao, are you home yet? </em>
</p>
<p>From anyone else this message would sound as an ordinary one. Fabrizio though could read Ermal’s moods with ease now. He was upset.</p>
<p>
  <em>Yea, I am home, making dinner. Want to come over?</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>He opened that door on the third ring, because Anita’s foot was stuck between sofa cushions (“Papa, heeelp!”). He hoped that the hug expressed in words he couldn’t quite express how Fabrizio was ready to listen and ready to be there for him in any way Ermal needed.</p>
<p>It was really adorable how much Ermal’s eyes lit up the moment Anita called his name. Fabrizio loved how much the kids loved Ermal. He loved how much Ermal loved the kids as well. He had become part of this family long before Fabrizio realized he had actually let him in.</p>
<p>Ermal had helped out so much when all of Fabrizio’s life suddenly was a complete mess. Giada’s announcement that she wanted to break up had come out of clear sky. He had thought so at that moment at least. Later, reflecting, he should’ve seen it coming really.</p>
<p>While they had been compatible when they first started dating, along the years their relationship shifted from that of people in romantic relationship to something less and less affectionate. Not all relationships end in yelling and tears.  Some end in the silent sadness of things just not working out and a feeling of emptiness. He had really thought Giada was the one for him. They had two children together. He had loved her, he sometimes wondered where among the years, dates, breakfasts, kid’s first words and diapers it had stopped being the kind of love that keeps two people under the same roof and in the same bed.</p>
<p>Through all of these hard times there this weird, sarcastic, curly haired wonder was – babysitting his kids when work took up 25 hours of his day, listening to him, when the pain and the confusion of the breakup was too much, taking him out on those first nights when Giada had the children at her place and Fabrizio couldn’t quite understand what to do with himself in this quiet and lonely apartment. Ermal had filled those evenings with cinema, sometimes bars (once, memorably, karaoke), sometimes just coming to his apartment and doing his homework here and it made it all easier.</p>
<p>What was also easy was to fall for him. Fabrizio could admit that to himself. He didn’t know what possessed him to stop to help out this guy on the road. Something youthful and fanciful in him would probably say it was fate. He had quickly learned that Ermal was fun to hang out with. He was captivating really with his witty humor and honest eyes and very honest heart. Fabrizio enjoyed the way he freely spoke his mind on whatever subject they were talking about. And when he met his kids for the first time, the way he had gained Libero’s trust so easily, the way he held Anita, Fabrizio knew that he was done for.</p>
<p>It was good though, as long as Ermal was in his life, it didn’t matter in what sense it was. Fabrizio had never been a possessive man and he wasn’t going to be possessive of something he didn’t even have. Just because he treasured their time together, their phone calls and messages in a different way than Ermal did, it was irrelevant. And if those hugs he bestowed upon Ermal were longer and hair ruffles more affectionate, no one needed to know.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well, how did it go?” Fabrizio asked when Giada was there to collect the kids for her week with them.</p>
<p>She sighed “God, I need a drink.”</p>
<p>“Well, you are driving our kids back to your place so all I can offer is some coffee”</p>
<p>“That will do” she sat at the kitchen table while Fabrizio busied himself making the coffee for her. “That couple is a nightmare; I wonder how long they will last.”</p>
<p>“That bad huh?” he placed the cup before her and lit a cigarette.</p>
<p>“God, they argued about <em>everything </em>and at first I was like ok, you know, pre-wedding jitters, whatever” She took a sip of the coffee “but then they continued to argue during the ceremony. <em>She laughed at his wows, </em>Fabri. Jesus. They will last like a month at best if they didn’t kill each other the moment that wedding was over.”</p>
<p>“We would’ve lasted longer than a month.”</p>
<p>“We didn’t even make it to the wedding” she laughed.</p>
<p>“Did you want a wedding?” He asked, now curious.</p>
<p>“Probably not, I don’t know. I don’t remember the time when we were actually <em>together</em>, how I felt then. I just remember the time when everything became… like it was on autopilot, you know – kiss goodbye, kiss hello, cuddling not because I particularly wanted to but because I was used to it.”</p>
<p>“And that is why you broke up with me”</p>
<p>“Well, I wasn’t the only one who initiated that ending.”</p>
<p>“What do you mean?” Fabrizio definitely didn’t remember initiating anything.</p>
<p>“Your little university boy-toy was around a lot.”</p>
<p>“It was not like that” he scrunched his face, surprised at the sharp remark. “It <em>isn’t </em>like that”</p>
<p>“Yeah” she sighed “I know it isn’t, I didn’t mean it like that either.”</p>
<p>“Giada, no, whatever you are thinking, nothing has happened between us.”</p>
<p>“How fast you jumped there though tells me how much you wish something happened”</p>
<p>“I didn’t cheat on you Giada. I wouldn’t have!”</p>
<p>“I know that you didn’t actually sleep with the guy while we were still together.” She sighed “Doesn’t mean I couldn’t see you were more affectionate with him than you had been with me for years”</p>
<p>“I..” he didn’t know how to finish the sentence. Nothing he would say would contradict the fact that it was true.</p>
<p>“Fabri it doesn’t matter, I am happy right now, do not ruin this.” she said, holding her cup with two hands. She added quietly, “I really do not mind you being happy too.”</p>
<p>“We aren’t together.”</p>
<p>“Why? I do not see the issue?” she asked “Kids like him, God knows they do not shut up about him and you <em>obviously</em> like him.”</p>
<p>“Be reasonable, what graduate student wants to settle with a 30 year old with two kids?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, this one?”</p>
<p>“We are just friends, Giada.”</p>
<p>“Oh right” she rolled her eyes “I’ve forgotten what a martyr you are.”</p>
<p>“Really, just stop it. I don’t want to talk about this.”</p>
<p>“Ok, ok, I am shutting up about it.”</p>
<p>She finished her coffee. He lit another cigarette.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for supporting my work!<br/>I am very grateful for the kudos and comments and general positivity here.</p>
<p>P.S I've changed the chapter count because by now I have finally figured out where and how I am dividing this and a big chunk of it all is already written. Hopefully we will stick to this. The posting schedule will probably stay the mess it is though. Sorry.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Chapter 4</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chapter where there is some shopping to do and some difficult conversations to face.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Since it is a long weekend here and I am mostly stuck inside like everyone else, here you go, next chapter. </p>
<p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ermal was <em>struggling. </em>Well that wasn’t something new, but he was struggling mostly because he was an asshole. Well that was also not news. He couldn’t focus on organizing his phraseology presentation if all the time he kept thinking of what a dick he is. Sofia probably would be better again anyways, she was just better at everything always. He hadn’t spoken to her in two days and it was all his own fault. Because he couldn’t just get over his issues and apologize for being an absolute dick. Sofia didn’t deserve this.  </p>
<p>So he was stuck here, staring at his presentation (which sucked), eating ramen noodles (which sucked) and thinking of Sofia who probably didn’t understand why her friend wasn’t talking to her (which sucked most of all). </p>
<p>His phone pinged.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>are you busy</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Bizio. Ermal fondly rolled his eyes at the screen. What eloquence, as per usual.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>I am, but I don’t want to be. You have any suggestions? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Want to hang out? </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ahh, this is the ‘my kids just left for their mother’s place and I am lonely’ mood. Alright, he could entertain. He was the best at entertaining. Especially when he himself wished to be distracted.  All homework be damned. He wouldn’t be able to concentrate anyways.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Yeah, sure! Meet me by the dorms?</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>Yes</em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ermal quickly finished his cup noodles and changed clothes. Not that Fabrizio would care what he looked like. Not that Ermal cared if Fabrizio did care or not.  </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fabrizio was waiting for him by the entrance to the campus in his car.  He got in and greeted his friend.</p>
<p>“So what are you in the mood for?”</p>
<p>“Well, I kinda need a new coat for autumn. But if you want to do something more fun….”</p>
<p>“Are you kidding? I always wanted to see what your thought process when shopping is,” Ermal fondly remembered the worst outfits he had seen him in.  “The things you sometimes wear Fabri, jesus.”</p>
<p> “Oh shut up” he said, while turning a bit red. “So the shopping center then?”</p>
<p>“Alright, we can have dinner there too, but I have to be back by 8, we are having a band practice.”</p>
<p>“Ok, so we have 3 hours all together. Good, I hate shopping so the quicker we are done the better.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“No, Bizio, that is bad.” Fabrizio was holding something green and undefined with too many pockets. Who needed that many pockets?</p>
<p>“What’s wrong with it?”</p>
<p>“What’s right with it. It’s ugly, come on.”</p>
<p>“But it’s practical!”</p>
<p>“I can find you something practical that looks like an actual coat and not fisherman equipment.”</p>
<p>“Hey, it wasn’t that bad.”</p>
<p>“Yes it was. I get that you do not particularly care what you look like” and rightfully, he didn’t need to. Bizio looked good in anything. “But at the same time you do not have to specifically pick out the worst ways of using fabric.”</p>
<p>Fabrizio laughed and raised his hands up in a gesture of giving up “Ok mister stylist, what would you like me to try on?”</p>
<p>Oh, ooh that he could do. He could find the best fit and something that Fabrizio would also like.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>After some trial and error (which mostly consisted of Ermal enjoying watching Fabrizio put on and take off multiple good looking coats) Ermal thought this could be the one. It was dark and fitted and almost elegant in a way Fabrizio’s clothes rarely were.  </p>
<p>“But does this fit me?”</p>
<p>“It very much fits you excuse me!”</p>
<p>“Yeah but…”</p>
<p>“You were looking at that abomination of a fisherman jacket just a bit ago!” he will bully Fabri to buy this if it killed him. “I will buy it for you myself so that you will be obliged to wear it.”</p>
<p>“No, no, that’s too expensive.”</p>
<p>Shit, overstepping boundaries, Ermal. “You don’t have to buy it if you don’t like it.”</p>
<p>“I like it; it’s more about if I actually look good enough to wear something like that.”</p>
<p>The man had to be kidding. If <em>he</em> didn’t look good enough who had a chance then?</p>
<p>“Are you shitting me?” probably should have toned it down a bit, but Ermal rarely could shut up. Even rarer when he was with Fabrizio.</p>
<p>“What?”</p>
<p>“Nothing” he said clearing his throat “It’s just that you look good in that. You should buy it.”</p>
<p>“Ok, I guess I will have to trust you on that.”</p>
<p>“You can trust me Fabri, you look good.” He really, <em>really</em> did, but that wasn’t caused by the jacket. “All the girls will be yours if they weren’t already”</p>
<p>Fabrizio laughed. “Just because of the jacket?”</p>
<p>Totally not because of the jacket “Yes, and when you meet someone you can thank me for making you buy it.”</p>
<p>“I guess I should take you shopping with me more often then, if it really improves my dating life as drastically as you advertise.”</p>
<p>Maybe there was a downside for making Fabrizio look even better. Nevertheless. “You really should.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> “So how is Sofia doing?” they had settled down in corner of a café, eating.  The risotto suddenly tasting worse than the noodles he had had for lunch. The question killed Ermal’s appetite and mood, but he couldn’t lie now, not to Fabri.</p>
<p>“I haven’t talked to her lately.”</p>
<p>“Why, what happened?” Fabrizio raised his eyebrows “You are usually attached at the hip.”</p>
<p>“I was… well I was stupid” Ermal stabbed a cherry tomato on his plate with a fork as if it was at fault. “Remember I told you yesterday about that essay I failed?”</p>
<p>“Yeah” Fabri nodded</p>
<p>“Well she passed it and not too bad either.” He felt stupid recounting this story.</p>
<p>“So you got jealous?”</p>
<p>“Kinda? I was upset and bitter and like the asshole I am couldn’t contain that to myself the thought that struck me was that she passes just because she’s so beautiful and the professor is salivating over her.”</p>
<p>“My god Ermal…” he hated disappointing Fabrizio.  </p>
<p>“Yep, that sums it up nicely. And now I am embarrassed to go and apologize because what kind of person goes around envying success of others especially friends especially in this way.”</p>
<p>“But you don’t really think like that, do you?”</p>
<p>“No, of course not, but it still doesn’t erase the fact that I thought it for that second there and she can read me too well.” Ermal kept stabbing tomatoes and an occasional mushroom “I just feel so disgusting about this.”</p>
<p>“So why haven’t you apologized? “</p>
<p>“Because it’s hard? I mean she knows that something is wrong, but I will have to explain all of this to her and I feel like she will feel betrayed.”</p>
<p>“She is feeling betrayed right now anyways probably.”</p>
<p>“Right.” That was true; he really did abandon his friend for two days without an explanation. He always needed someone to set him straight.  “I have to fix this.”</p>
<p>Ermal knew he was an asshole even before this conversation, but when you see it in someone else’s eyes, it seems much heavier. And that made him feel even worse which made him feel angry at himself for being sorry for himself when he actually hurt another person.</p>
<p> “Hey, I also found this new band; I will send you some songs later.”  Bizio also always knew when to change the subject. Ermal loved that about him. “I like the vibe, it’s kind of, retro I would say.”</p>
<p>“Wow, shouldn’t I be surprised that you can use the word ‘vibe’ correctly in a sentence?”</p>
<p>“Hey, I am not that old!”</p>
<p>“Having two children automatically makes people old.”</p>
<p>“See if I send you anything anymore”</p>
<p>“Eeh, you love me too much not to impose your music tastes on me.”</p>
<p>Fabrizio shook his head. “I still don’t get why we are friends.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>7:30 pm and they were outside, smoking before heading back. Ermal wished that time would stop and he could stay here forever and not deal with anything. Just right here, with his cigarette and without any heavy thoughts. And with Bizio.</p>
<p>“So, was entertainment of my company up to your standards?” Ermal really couldn’t help himself.</p>
<p>“It always is, don’t fish for compliments”</p>
<p>“Well I like to be appreciated”</p>
<p>“Aren’t you appreciated?”</p>
<p>“Well I like to <em>hear</em> I am appreciated” he really <em>really</em> couldn’t help himself.</p>
<p>Fabrizio rolled his eyes fondly at him “Thank you for your company and thank you for helping me with the coat.”</p>
<p>“There, was that so hard.”</p>
<p>Fabrizio laughed and reached his hand to mess with Ermal's curls.</p>
<p>God, this felt like an end of a date. If this was a date, this would be the time. He would cup Bizio’s face and lean in.  He would tangle his hands in his hair and pull him close feeling his warmth and his hands around his waist. Yes, that perfect first date kiss that only happened in movies and never happened with Ermal. First kisses always happened awkwardly with too much teeth, wrong angle or leaning the wrong way and bumping noses for him. It was embarrassing.</p>
<p>Also, this nonsense absolutely had to stop. These feelings, the mess he had made with Sofia, everything. He just wished he would stop feeling anything and go live in a tent by the sea. No people, no morals no way of hurting another person he loved.</p>
<p>“You should really make up with Sofia.” Did the guy read minds?</p>
<p>“What?” it was hard to focus on the sudden new subject.</p>
<p>“Sofia? You should apologize.” Fabrizio said in a quiet tone “She is so good to you and I know you did not do it on purpose but it was still a shit move. Also you miss her, I can tell, you have been so distracted all evening. She probably misses you too.”</p>
<p>“I know Fabri, I will make it up to her.” He had to do it today, right after the practice.  </p>
<p>“Good.”</p>
<p>Ermal always found apologies so hard and awkward. It was difficult to admit that you are a dick, especially when you have to say it out loud. And the more he thought about what to say, the worse the words came out. And you never know how the other person would react.</p>
<p>Fabrizio took him back to dorms; Ermal was so lost in his spiraling mind he barely noticed they had arrived.  </p>
<p>“So I guess you better run it is almost 8. I know you hate being late.” Fabri gently nudged him out of his thoughts.</p>
<p>“Right” that was the last thing on his mind right now, but he said his goodbyes anyways. No point delaying the inevitable.</p>
<p>So, back to face his doom. Well, first make some music, then face his doom.</p>
<p>Great, he would be the first person on Earth playing in his own funeral.</p>
<p>At least he got to see Bizio before his death.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Sofia is the best friend anyone could have.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Woop woop, some point of view shift ahead again! <br/>Some blasphemy? (it’s all jokes though; do not take it too close to heart)<br/>Enjoy! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Objectively, Sofia knew she was pretty – that was not a new concept. All throughout her childhood everyone kept saying what a pretty girl she was and when she hit puberty all the boys where drooling over her. Well, not only drooling but it didn’t matter. She quickly learned that a sharp tongue and maybe sometimes a fist in the face would keep the most of them at bay. That’s when she started to change her body in the ways she liked – one piercing, one tattoo at a time.</p>
<p>While she felt, that the piercings and tattoos made her look better, most of the people she met didn’t like them much. Her parents also. Not like she cared. Her parents didn’t like lots of stuff actually, including but not limited to her tattoos, her choice of study subject and her bisexuality. She couldn’t remember the last time they actually approved of anything she did. Not. Like. She. Cared.</p>
<p>She had moved to Rome for that exact reason – to be and do as she liked. Not moved as much as escaped actually. She hadn’t been home for a full year now and couldn’t say she missed it.</p>
<p>She was walking back from university.  Her mind still focused on the little white cardboard card with tacky hearts and even tackier text. She had received a wedding invitation yesterday – her little sister was getting married. To her high school boyfriend nonetheless. Sofia couldn’t really understand that, she couldn’t understand commitment like that in general but especially to the first relationship ever. How could you know he was the one? Mom and dad probably were happy for her.  Her parents probably would have been ecstatic to have their older daughter choosing the same fate of husband and babies. And that is precisely why she had disappointed her parents and fled to Rome.</p>
<p>And she really enjoyed her life in Rome – she was a big city kind of girl where she could meet hundreds of new people every day, some of them she would become friends with, some she would have sex with some would just be a welcome background noise that made the nice ambiance of buzzing around her.  It was a fun life. She enjoyed people and enjoyed the busy university life.</p>
<p>She also enjoyed her friendship with Ermal. She really wanted to talk to him right now and hear his opinion of this marriage business. Although their friendship had really started from just arguing nonstop (both of them really didn’t know how to keep their mouths shut), it had become something very genuine and important to her and although the guy was idiotic sometimes he usually gave great advice. Thus it was stupid when she couldn’t talk to him at this precise moment because the guy chose to be a little bitch.  The idiot hadn’t even lifted his head once while she was giving her presentation today. It had been an awesome presentation. He hadn’t sat by her either.</p>
<p>Maybe she was in the wrong – she really didn’t have a comparison for what her sister had. She had never dated anybody ever. She slept with people, she was friends with people but she never liked the idea of dating and living together with somebody.</p>
<p>It took a while for her to realize someone was trying to get her attention.</p>
<p>“Hey, this fell off your bag”</p>
<p>“Oh thanks, I would’ve missed that if I lost it” she pocketed her favorite bisexual pride pin.</p>
<p>“I’ve seen you in classes before, Sofia, right?”</p>
<p>“Yes..?”  the guy was kinda cute, nice to look at least –  maybe this could be a good opportunity to do like normal people do?</p>
<p>“I’m Lucas, we are in the same Phraseology class today. It was a really fun presentation you gave today about wordplay.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I never actually thought I would pull that off” she laughed. At least somebody appreciated her effort. And he found puns fun apparently, she could definitely be into that.</p>
<p>“Wonder what else you could pull off” he said with a smirk on his face.</p>
<p>Or maybe not.</p>
<p>Sofia put her hand against her heart and said nothing for a bit.</p>
<p>“What is happening?” the guy asked, laughing nervously.</p>
<p>“A moment of silence for this conversation cause it is dead now. In less than 2 minutes too, must be a record. Goodbye now.” She walked past him and headed for her dorms. That’s what she gets for thinking like that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sof, please forgive me for I have sinned”</p>
<p>The sight of Ermal on his knees, with a single white rose in his hand met her when she opened the door at 10:30 in the evening. God the boy was dramatic. She almost burst out laughing, but kept her composure. She crossed her hands. Since Ermal was up for antics she could play along too.</p>
<p>“Are you going to explain why you haven’t talked to me at all these last two days?”</p>
<p>“I’ve fallen into sin Sofia, I was stricken by envy and after that stricken by pride” he extended his hand with the stupid white rose in it again. “I am here to atone for it.”</p>
<p>Dumbass. She accepted the flower.</p>
<p>“Are you gonna kiss my feet too?”</p>
<p>“If you are into that” He wiggled his eyebrows. </p>
<p>“Ew” She simply commented, making a gesture for him to enter the room. “Definitely not with you, my guy.”</p>
<p>“Seriously though, I am sorry” He said getting up from his knees “I’ve had a stupid couple of days but now I have gotten my shit together.”</p>
<p>“Do I wanna know?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know if I can… it’s just... it’s bad Sof.”</p>
<p>“I know what men think of me Ermal Meta, it would be sad if you turned out exactly like all of them” she said in a dry voice. The boy had said he would atone.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean to, I am just a shitty human being” he sighed.</p>
<p>“No, Ermal, that isn’t an apology” she said in even drier tone than before.</p>
<p>“You are right. I am sorry, Sofia. It was shitty of me to think that of you and it was shitty of me to ignore you for two days. Also I do not think like that at all, you are brilliant and smart and obviously are good at university work.”</p>
<p>“Do not ever dare to do this to me again.” She said while stabbing her pointer finger in his chest. “Or I will choke you with a rosary.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think you own a rosary.”</p>
<p>“Oh that is what concerns you?!”</p>
<p>She was glad they were back to normal though or at least getting there.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“My sister is getting married” she started, when they sat down on her bed, sharing the jelly beans Ermal had also brought. He really knew the way to a woman’s heart.</p>
<p>“Isn’t she like 20 years old?”</p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p>“Pretty young for a marriage”</p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p>“…and your opinion of that is..?”</p>
<p>“I haven’t talked to her besides the formal how are you’s for the last 4 years, I am not allowed to have an opinion”</p>
<p>“You are allowed to have an opinion; you aren’t allowed to express it to her probably”</p>
<p>She sighed. “It is pretty young for a marriage, and especially since the guy is her high school boyfriend.”</p>
<p>“Hmm” Ermal started cautiously. “That doesn’t sound…. I mean, I don’t know, based on how my relationships were in high school…”</p>
<p>“What do I know about love though?” She said, touching the petals of the white rose that was still in her hands. She dropped it on the bed, frustrated. “It’s not like I’ve had a high school boyfriend. It’s not like I have had a boyfriend at all.”</p>
<p>“Just because you don’t have romantic relationships doesn’t mean that you don’t know anything about love. Love can be different, and marriage doesn’t stand on romantic desire for the other person alone, there has to be some strong friendship below that.” Ermal said to her plucking a petal of the rose he had given her.  “Are you going?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know. It’s next summer; I could just say I am busy with graduation and stuff.”</p>
<p>“So you have time to think then.”</p>
<p>Yeah, she did. Although overthinking was a bigger possibility.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“I missed you today during classes,” it pained her to admit it. “There is no one else I can play The Most Pretentious Literature Interpretation Bingo with. And today’s lecture was the perfect possibility.”</p>
<p>They loved to make fun of the hipsters. Just a little bit. Sometimes green curtains just mean green curtains.</p>
<p>“I know, it was torture for me too.”</p>
<p>“And I gave that amazing presentation.” She shook her hair.</p>
<p>“Anyway, my presentation next week is gonna be better.” He said confidently.</p>
<p>“You didn’t even <em>watch</em> me give my presentation, you dick!” she pushed him with her palm “How can you be better if you don’t know what you are competing against?!”</p>
<p>“I heard all of it. It was good and all, but I <em>know</em> mine will be better.”</p>
<p>“It can’t be better because mine was perfection.”</p>
<p>“Let’s bet on that. Or are you scared?”</p>
<p>“What are we betting for?” she had nothing to be scared of here.</p>
<p>“A bottle of wine – that way even when you lose, you win an evening of sharing it with me.”</p>
<p>“The idea is good Erm,” she said. “Although I won’t lose.”</p>
<p>“We will see about that.”</p>
<p> Oooh challenge accepted.</p>
<p>They shook hands.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>A couple of days later they were sitting in her room, a bottle of wine (purchased by Sofia, she can admit defeat when actually defeated) on the small table and teacups full of wine in hands. The glamour of the dorm life is indescribable.</p>
<p>They were enjoying the peace of a rare free evening.</p>
<p>“So, give it to me” he said, lifting his head in the air.</p>
<p>She rolled her eyes. “Ok, ok, you beat me, you are the king of Phraseology.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I am, glad you acknowledge that, now where is my crown?”</p>
<p>“I don’t have a crown, your majesty, how about 21-gun salute instead?” She threw a grape at his forehead “One”</p>
<p>“Hey, you aren’t supposed to shoot at the person being honored!”</p>
<p>“Oh that’s a privilege given only for the royals that people can actually stand” she threw another one. Bullseye. “Two”</p>
<p>Ermal attacked her back, tickling her. He knew her weaknesses best; she crumbled in his hands in a fit of laugh.</p>
<p>“Ok, ok, I surrender” she yelled through giggles. He was laughing still beside her on the bed.</p>
<p>“Why don’t I like you?” Ermal suddenly asked. Serious.</p>
<p>“I thought you did, dude, we see each other every day and you are in my dorm room right now!”</p>
<p>“No, not like that, I mean like you, like butterflies in belly like you, like heart beating faster every time I hug you like you, like shivering when you touch me like you.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know but it is still a relief cause I don’t like you like that either.” she says, confused. “Also what are these dumbass clichés? What are you – a romance novel heroine? That was super cheesy, even for you.”</p>
<p>“Would be so easy to be with you, you are so great” said Ermal, while caressing her arm, a tired smile on his face. “And funny, and the way we act with each other, jesus, I am in a bed with you right now, why do I not <em>feel</em> anything for you?”</p>
<p>“Cause you are not obliged to fall in love with every woman around you? I do not think love works like that. Also, men and women can be friends. Also, stop making this weird.”</p>
<p>“But I mean look at you, everyone crushes on you right? You are also gorgeous. It is the same but isn’t! Why do I not feel anything for you?”  Ermal put his hands on her shoulders, looking at her face.</p>
<p>“What the fuck are you talking about Ermal?” she takes his hands off her shoulders, suddenly super confused about where this is going.  </p>
<p>“I am not supposed to be attracted to a man” he whispers, falling back on the bed, sounding absolutely heartbroken.  </p>
<p>“Oh…” she says softly. Of course. “Baby, look…”</p>
<p>“I am straight; I shouldn’t have these feelings for him” hiding his face behind his hands.</p>
<p>Well, clearly not as straight as he thought.</p>
<p>“Honey, it’s ok, I know, it sometimes takes a little while to figure this shit out” she lies next to him on the pillows. Something was digging into her arm. A grape. She took it in her hand rolling it around in her fingers.</p>
<p>She had never spoken to him this softly before. “I know it took me a while to accept that I like girls as well, especially when people around you aren’t really…encouraging.”</p>
<p>“I can’t like men, it’s impossible.”</p>
<p>“Why? You were completely fine with me being into girls?”</p>
<p>“I am I am!  But you are you, I don’t like men, I do not think of men in that way, I never have!” he puts his hand over his eyes. “And there he is, just looking so breathtaking, touching me all the time with those beautiful hands…”</p>
<p>Ermal had never said this stuff out loud to her before but she had had her suspicions.</p>
<p> “Listen, I know it is easy to preach from my perspective and I am not here to judge or tell you what to do. But before I realized that I might be into girls as well as men I didn’t recognize the feeling I had for them as the crushes they were. I realized it only after I had accepted that I like girls that oh yeah sure, that was definitely a crush lol how did I miss that?” he seems calmer now, some of the frustration leaving his face. She smiled. “Baby, you do not have to do anything about your feelings. There are no rules here. All crushes end at some point, even the ones that feel like they never will.”</p>
<p>“I’m scared, Sofia”</p>
<p>“It’s ok, it is not like you have to process this all tonight, or this week or month.”</p>
<p>“Why can’t something in life be simple? Why can’t I fall in love with a girl like a normal person?”</p>
<p>She raised her eyebrow at that.</p>
<p>“I didn’t mean that.” He looked horrified. Serves him right.</p>
<p>“No, you didn’t.” She understood him too well; she had gone through this herself as well. The desire to just be like everyone else and shut up about it was still strong sometimes. “Like I said, it takes a while to accept...”</p>
<p>“But I am not homophobic, you have to believe me, it’s not like that...”</p>
<p>“I know” she interrupted this unnecessary tirade. “I know that, you do not have to prove it to me. We wouldn’t be friends if I thought you were homophobic. You are an absolute asshole, but not on the matters that count. Love that about you. And I am here for you, you know that, right?”</p>
<p>He nodded. Eyes still closed.</p>
<p>She had to dissolve tension that was settling here, she didn’t like it.</p>
<p>“Three” she said when the grape landed on his cheek. They both laughed.</p>
<p>“Can I stay here for the night?” and had the audacity to arrange his limbs next to the wall, opening his arms for her to cuddle him. Alright, she would cuddle him for a bit, the guy needed it right now probably.</p>
<p>She sighed. One more night spent sharing <em>her own bed</em> with the lanky snake of a man. The guy always managed to have cold feet. She didn’t envy Fabrizio who will probably spend his life enduring this every single night.</p>
<p>It dawned on her that Ermal never pronounced the name of the man he has feelings for. She didn’t have a single doubt though who this conversation was about as well as no doubt that his feelings were reciprocated. Hopefully he could pull himself together enough so that this could actually have a chance. Sofia trusted Fabrizio with her friend, they were a good match and seeing how sweet and caring the guy was towards Ermal she could see it working out. Ermal obviously had his demons, but under layers of cynicism sarcasm and sharpness there was a loving guy who deserved something good in his life. And he turned into a complete dumbass whenever Fabrizio was around which was super fun to watch.</p>
<p>Anyways.</p>
<p>Sleep.</p>
<p>Sleep is what she needed right now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Turns out Ermal Meta songs are good for jogging. I have never felt as gay when exercising as when running to Ragazza Paradizo. </p>
<p>Anyways, thank you for the encouragement and comments! I appreciate it so much! </p>
<p>Sending you all love &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Chapter 6</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Between Lego towers, concerts and social queues.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Finally huh.<br/>I've struggled here for some reason, and also didn't have much time to edit (Straight up didn't have a good week. Or two). <br/>Here we are though. <br/>Enjoy! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Fabrizio was lying on the floor, between what seemed like hundreds of colorful lego bricks and two excited kids building a tower.</p>
<p>“Papa, we have to make it higher!”</p>
<p>“I can’t reach higher, see?” he lifted his hand weakly, shaking it around.</p>
<p>“Get up!” Libero started to pull at his hand.</p>
<p>“Noo, I can’t” he let his hand go deadweight and slip out of Libero’s grip.</p>
<p>“Papaa” both of them jumped on him and tried to push him.</p>
<p>“Ok, ok, you are both such bullies, you know?”</p>
<p>“Higher!”</p>
<p>“You already can’t reach the top”</p>
<p>“Up to the ceiling” Anita was jumping to show how tall it had to be.</p>
<p>Fabrizio was already running late. It seemed like he was always running late these days, but the reason was new this time – he couldn’t decide what to wear. He felt a bit idiotic. Every time Ermal invited him to one of his concerts this happened. The student bar made him feel a bit old and a bit out of his comfort zone. The people there were all stylish and or very individualistic and or artsy. And he was none of those things. He also didn’t seem to have any clothes that didn’t have colorful splotches of ice cream, finger paints, chocolate or children throw up on them.</p>
<p>So that was why he had given up and laid on the floor helping with the lego skyscraper.</p>
<p>“No, there will be a blue piece!”</p>
<p>He had two architects growing up. That was great.</p>
<p>They finished the tower, last piece done by Libero who was on Fabrizio’s shoulders.</p>
<p>“Yees! Big!” Anita was jumping around it joined by Libero, who was pretty set on destroying the tower now.</p>
<p>Fabrizio snapped a quick picture, before the disaster struck.</p>
<p>This had been a nice distraction, but it still didn’t solve the problem. He sighed. Dark jeans and a t-shirt that seemed semi-clean will have to do, couldn’t go wrong with that, right? Also he had the new coat which was just as well.</p>
<p>He still had to take the kids to Giada’s.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Is this all” Giada waved her hand in the general direction of him “for the ummm concert?”</p>
<p>“Oh shush, I don’t look that different”</p>
<p>“Sure. No, yeah totally. It just looks like you actually tried.”</p>
<p>“It’s just the new coat.”</p>
<p>“Yeah actually, can we talk about the coat, did <em>you</em> choose it?” she teased.</p>
<p>“Is it that obvious that I didn’t?”</p>
<p>“It suits you too well for you to have chosen it.”</p>
<p>“Oh fuck you.” He said laughing “Yeah, ok, Ermal helped me pick it out”</p>
<p>Helped was a mild way to put the way Ermal had <em>hurricaned</em> his way through the stores, making Fabri wear everything that stroke his fancy and complimented him enough times to make him by this one coat. Fabri had loved every second of being on the receiving end of that much attention. He also loved that Ermal knew him well enough to find something that he would also like and would wear and look good in.</p>
<p>“Seriously, you look good Fabri.”</p>
<p>“Thanks. I am so late though.”</p>
<p>“Ok then, rush to your totally not important non special … concert.”  </p>
<p>He glared at her, kissed the kids, who were already busy making mess of the living room, goodbye and hurried back to his car.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Even though he had denied it to Giada of course it was Ermal, who Fabrizio was trying his best for. Ermal always made sure to invite him to all of these evenings they played and how could he say no. As much as he didn’t like the bar itself, Fabrizio was really looking forward to hearing the set. For a student band they were actually good and Ermal was… well Ermal was just hypnotizing when he was on stage.</p>
<p>Fabrizio desperately tried to see anyone familiar in the crowded bar. He felt stupid again with all these cool young people around. There was Sofia. He quickly made his way over. He also needed a drink.</p>
<p>“Hey, Sofia!”</p>
<p>“Ciao!” she exclaimed, hugging him tightly.</p>
<p>She always looked a bit intimidating but once you got to know her she was actually a great friend. She was definitely a no bullshit kind of girl which Fabrizio respected. She was also good for Ermal, which was a bit harder to accept but nevertheless. He didn’t actually ever pried into their relationship but it definitely was... something. Ermal always talked about her completely differently than he did about anyone else. And well … then Fabrizio didn’t mind. <em>Couldn’t</em> mind.</p>
<p>“Did you meet him?” she asked. Who was ‘<em>him’</em> was clear.</p>
<p>“No I just arrived, it has been a crazy day, I am exhausted honestly.”</p>
<p>“And yet you still arrived.”</p>
<p>“Of course I did.” he wouldn’t miss Ermal’s gigs for anything.</p>
<p>“<em>Of course</em> you did.” she said cheerfully.</p>
<p>Well that was... Was he really that easy to read? First Giada now Sofia…</p>
<p>“How is he?”</p>
<p>“His usual excited self, but they all are of course.” She shrugged. “In Ermal’s case though, both emotions - excitement and ‘I am 5 minutes away from throwing up from nervousness’, are indistinguishable.”</p>
<p>“It’s probably both” Fabrizio knew how it was, he had also once played, though in a much dingier bar with much dodgier public. He had loved every second of that though. Well the being on stage he had loved. There was no better feeling than singing his own words, his own pain out to a crowd. He hadn’t loved everything that came with it – the inevitable drinking and apparently also the inevitable drugs. That whole scene hadn’t been good for him. He had traded it for his kids and his work and felt very lucky that he could do that. It was better. Away from the bar scene and he was actually making money now fixing retro cars. Who could have imagined there was money there.  </p>
<p>“Probably.” Sofia said. “How are you doing? I haven’t seen you in a while.”</p>
<p>“Good, good. Keeping myself busy you know.”</p>
<p>“I can imagine. I guess the cars don’t fix themselves huh.”</p>
<p>“Nope, sadly they do not.” He chuckled “How are you doing?”</p>
<p>She laughed.</p>
<p>“You wanna hear a stupid story? I tried to color my hair a bit pink, but since my hair is so dark it didn’t seem to come out so different, then I put the color in another time and now my hair is bright fuchsia pink in sunlight. You know, just girls being girls.” She did a peace sign.</p>
<p>Fabrizio laughed. “With you I honestly can’t tell if this is a happy ending or a tragic one.”</p>
<p>“It is an ending, let’s put it that way” she laughed “It’s just unexpected, but I dunno, I kinda dig it now.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, I’m gonna go get a drink, before it starts” Fabrizio said, he really needed a beer to take the edge off.</p>
<p>“Oh, of course. Be quick, it should start in a couple of minutes.”</p>
<p> The set was great as always. Ermal had that amazing trait where he could pour all his energy – negative and positive, into what he was doing. He was like that with studies, on stage and with people when socializing, he would give his all and it showed. And his voice … it was almost careful around more lyrical songs and all pure energy and strength around more energetic ones. They were great; you could see that they were all in it together enjoying every bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Afterwards, Fabrizio was still sipping his, by now frankly atrocious, beer and his eyes were on Ermal while he was engaging in conversations with people, joking around with his bandmates. He enjoyed the moment while it lasted, while he wasn’t noticed and could look at Ermal unguarded. Then their eyes met and Fabrizio could almost pretend that Ermal’s face lit up. As if he wasn’t all ecstatic before.</p>
<p>“Hi, Bizio!” That voice sounded so different here than it had on stage. Raspier, calmer. Fabrizio loved both. He had to hug him.</p>
<p>“You were amazing out there” he said while holding him tight.</p>
<p>“Come out and have a smoke with me” how could Fabrizio resist. He couldn’t say no to him. Ever. Ermal took him by the hand and lead him outside. It was a nice night. Still warm for October and the sky was clear. He could almost see the stars somewhere.</p>
<p>“What a beautiful night” Ermal said, looking up at the sky while taking the first drag of his cigarette.</p>
<p>“Told you, you are made for that stage”</p>
<p>“Only that one?” Ermal asked? Cheeky.</p>
<p>“All of them, clubs, stadiums, festivals. All of them.”</p>
<p>Ermal laughed. “Naah man, I think my head would explode either from nerves or the exhaustion.”</p>
<p>“Or from the self-importance”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Ermal put on a pout and elbowed Fabrizio in the ribs. “Must be nice though, to have that. And to have that attention. To have thousands of people being there for you. I can’t imagine how singers must feel when a crowd sings their songs back at them. Imagine the rush, the love you would feel radiating in a moment like that. Do I sound super narcissistic saying that?”</p>
<p>There was hardly anything narcissistic about him. And Ermal absolutely deserved to be spoiled with all of that. Fabrizio could see the insecurity that was hidden in those words. He knew how that felt – to want to be needed by somebody. To just have people loving you for what you make, for who you are, to make an impact on someone and at the same time not feel worthy of any of it. And Fabrizio was ready to spoil him and give him everything he deserved, all the attention, all the love until he felt it in his bones. So that he wouldn’t have to doubt himself ever again.</p>
<p>“Not at all” Is what he said instead. “For what it’s worth, I think you could make it.”</p>
<p>“You really think so?” Ermal raised his eyebrow.</p>
<p>“Of course!” Fabrizio gripped his shoulder “You guys had this entire crowd hypnotized.”</p>
<p>“It’s just drunk or high students here though.”</p>
<p>“Gotta start somewhere. This is not the worst place to start from” he knew, because he had played at those worse places. He stubbed his cigarette against the wall and threw it in the trash. “And you are definitely exaggerating about the drunkenness of your public. They will get drunk now, yes, but they weren’t when you were playing.”</p>
<p>“You really are serious about it huh?”</p>
<p>“Why wouldn’t I be?”</p>
<p>“I don’t know, it’s just such an unpredictable path to take. What if it doesn’t work out?”</p>
<p>“Don’t start thinking about the ending before anything has even started.”  </p>
<p>“You know I am like that.”</p>
<p>Fabrizio did, that’s why he sometimes had to shake those insecurities out of him. He took Ermal by his shoulders and looked him in the eyes.</p>
<p>“Listen, I think you are amazing on that stage and your voice gives me goosebumps and the songs… god, imagine what you would write with a bit more practice and some professional advice if you write like this already and most of all I think it would be a damn shame to waste this all.”</p>
<p>Ermal shivered.</p>
<p>“Are you cold?”Fabrizio took Ermal’s hand in his, it did seem pretty chilly.</p>
<p>“Yeah” Ermal shook his head “Yeah let’s go inside.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Hi, Fabri” said Marco “We didn’t even have a chance to greet you before Ermal stole you away.”</p>
<p>Fabrizio waved hi to everyone.</p>
<p>“Hey, listen; I didn’t steal anything, not my fault that Fabri enjoys my company more.”</p>
<p>“You always hog the poor man’s attention so he doesn’t even have a choice in that matter.”</p>
<p>`”We just went out for a smoke, chill, I have returned him in a pristine condition.”</p>
<p>“You might wanna loosen your hand, before the condition stops being pristine and starts to have more of a lost limb kind of vibe.” Sofia pointed her beer bottle to them. Everyone laughed.</p>
<p>Fabrizio hadn’t even noticed that Ermal was still gripping his hand. It had felt so natural for him to be there it didn’t even register. It had felt nice actually, to be that important, like Ermal actually felt so protective over what they had. As if he was competing for Fabrizio’s attention. </p>
<p>Ermal quickly released his hand though a bit red around the ears.</p>
<p>“Sorry, didn’t even notice.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine, don’t worry about it”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The evening had definitely been fun, but jesus was he exhausted. He had seen the set, had enjoyed some fun company with Ermal’s friends and bandmates. It was probably a good time to leave.</p>
<p>He needed to say goodbye to Ermal. When he tried to find him again, he had disappeared somewhere, which was worrying, considering he had a couple of shots and some beers and he wasn’t considerably good with alcohol.</p>
<p>Finally he noticed him.</p>
<p>Ermal was sitting in the corner with Sofia, their hands intertwined and they seemed deep in conversation. They looked… cuddly for lack of a better word. Intimate. She kissed his temple. And that’s that on that then. The confirmation he needed.</p>
<p>He suddenly felt even more tired. He really should head out. He had been there for Ermal, had seen the set. And it was ok. Sofia really is a fine girl, even with all her ridiculous hair colors and a bit crazy and harsh nature, she was still sweet and loving. He couldn’t imagine anyone better for Ermal. For both of them actually.</p>
<p>It wasn’t polite though to just leave without saying goodbye, but he didn’t really want to ruin the moment for them. So here he was, stuck in his own personal purgatory.</p>
<p>Lovely.</p>
<p>Might as well get another beer.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Comments and kudos as always super welcome.<br/>Thank you for your support through this mess. &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Chapter 7</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Chapter where Sofia continues to be the best friend anyone could ask for.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Hehe, here we go again.<br/>A bit more of Sofia's POV because I enjoy her and so should you. :D </p>
<p>Also shoutout to KittyHawke - thank you for inspiring me with your comments, I truly hope you enjoy this story! </p>
<p>Enjoy everybody!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Sofia couldn’t believe she was watching this circus. But watch she did. As much as this was embarrassing it was also entertaining. Drunken Ermal was always a sight to behold. The guy didn’t have a brain to mouth filter on a good day and when he was drunk… well he also lacked the heart-to brain filter too. So here she was, watching him first watch Fabrizio, then talk to Fabrizio, then hold hands with Fabrizio then hug Fabrizio. It was all so precious. It would be embarrassing if it wasn’t so painfully obviously reciprocated. Fabrizio was so obviously tired and yet still came here, looked absolutely mesmerized during the set and now was clearly enjoying all the attention. God, he lit up every time Ermal’s hand found his again.</p>
<p>“Isn’t this absolutely stupid?” Andrea joined her by the bar.</p>
<p>“Yes. Yes it is”</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t somebody, like, tell them?”</p>
<p>“Fuck no, don’t you ruin my fun Andrea.” fun or no fun, after that freak out Ermal had pulled on her, pointing out he was that obvious somehow didn’t sit right with her. She had done enough harm pointing out the hand holding. “We should probably leave them be”</p>
<p>“Dude, they will be like this forever though.”</p>
<p>She shrugged, feigning nonchalance.</p>
<p>“No skin off my butt, I don’t get all this sappy love bullshit anyways. Let’s go dance.” Distraction was what was needed right now. “Or are you scared of me overshadowing you?”</p>
<p>“Oh you brighten up everything around you, Miss fuchsia-hair” he covered his eyes as if hit by bright light.</p>
<p>“Fuck off”</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Did I tell you, you were great?” she yelled at Ermal when she joined him on the sofa in the corner. She was exhausted from all the dancing (more like dance-off) with Andrea.</p>
<p>“Thank you”</p>
<p>“You should really stick with this, I think you could do better than a student bar.”</p>
<p>“Funy, Fabri said the same thing.”</p>
<p><em>Of course he did</em>. “Of course he did, because it is the truth.”</p>
<p>He chuckled.</p>
<p>“But me? I don’t know, I don’t think I have what it takes.”</p>
<p>It’s amazing how insecure the guy could be about the things that counted, considering his cocky nature.</p>
<p>“Oh god don’t make me have this conversation, you know I am emotionally constipated, I can’t express in words how untrue that is.”</p>
<p>“Thanks Sofia. From where I am standing you are amazing too.”</p>
<p>She laughed “My bullshit is not a talent. I might do something stupid and become an internet meme though. That would be the life.”</p>
<p>“You could be more popular than kittens.”</p>
<p>“<em>No one</em> is more popular than kittens.” She said “But I still stand by the fact that you are like stupidly talented.”</p>
<p>“Thanks. Noted.”</p>
<p>“You are a dumbass, Ermal Meta” she said kissing his temple.</p>
<p>“Tell me something I don’t know” he sighed. Somehow she didn’t think he understood what she meant.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> “I think I will be heading home now.” Fabri approached Sofia, putting his hands on her shoulders. “Just wanted to say goodbye to you.”</p>
<p>“Oh yeah… alright. Too bad honestly, kinda wanted to make you dance” She chuckled.</p>
<p>He laughed too. “Nope, that isn’t going to happen any time soon. I would just end up stepping on your feet.”</p>
<p>“Eeh you are being too uptight. Look at that guy” She pointed at Ermal who was at this point pretty tipsy to say the least and bobbing to the Katy Perry’s song that was blasting in the bar. She wondered if she shouldn’t get out her phone and film some of this for blackmail purposes. For the time when Ermal inevitably became famous and got too stuck up.</p>
<p>“Well I definitely do not have those kinds of moves”</p>
<p>“Baby, no one has those kinds of moves, and rightfully no one should. God, is he embarrassing.” She chuckled.</p>
<p> “Take care of him” – Fabrizio said in an odd tone.</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course. The plan was to let him have his fun and then we will head back to dorms together anyways. Don’t worry.”</p>
<p>“Thank you. I’ve always liked you, I think you are good for him.”</p>
<p>“Back at ya, my guy” She smiled. Fabrizio really was good for Ermal, she had no doubt about it. Fabrizio regarded her with a weighted look. Something was definitely off. She almost wanted to ask about it but settled for an easier question. “Will we see you tomorrow? Ermal will inevitably be in pain and probably would appreciate some sympathy. God knows I do not have the capability to muster that up.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think so, I have lots of stuff to do, you know, the business is not going to run itself” Fabrizio smiled at her, but the tone was somehow still off...</p>
<p>“I can imagine” Tomorrow was Saturday tough. She decided to let it go, probably the guy was just exhausted or something, he definitely looked like it. She leaned in for a hug “Bye then, don’t be a stranger!”</p>
<p>“Bye Sofia” he returned her hug and kissed her on the cheek.</p>
<p>It felt like they had two different conversations just now. She couldn’t help but feel like she was missing something. She regarded him while he said his goodbyes to others and finally Ermal, who held him tightly for a moment, but Fabri still seemed kind of… stand-offish almost. It was a strange look on him, the guy was super tactile.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Sofffia!” Ermal’s drunk voice shook her out of her thoughts.</p>
<p>Oh god.</p>
<p>“What’s up baby.” She put her hand around him guiding him to sit down beside her.</p>
<p>“Missed you.”</p>
<p>“Oh? Yeah I guessed you would now that your best company has left.”</p>
<p>“Hey you are also my best company”</p>
<p>“But not the best-best company”</p>
<p>“What is this, primary school?”</p>
<p>She laughed at that. Something still sat wrong with her though.</p>
<p>“Ermal?”</p>
<p>“Ya?” he took a sip of his beer.</p>
<p>“Did I make you uncomfortable with that hand holding comment earlier?”</p>
<p>“Not really.” He shrugged “And it was fair I was probably being an asshole and hogging all his time and attention. I should probably apologize for that, it’s not like I am his only friend.”</p>
<p>Something was telling her Fabri hadn’t minded at all, well, at least until the strange goodbyes. Still. “Ok, as long as we are cool.”</p>
<p>“Of course we are.”</p>
<p>That was a relief.</p>
<p>“Are you gonna apologize to him on your knees too?” She couldn’t help herself and a laugh was bubbling up in her throat.</p>
<p>He looked horrified. Shit.</p>
<p>“It was a joke, I’m sorry.” She really had to start reading the room before opening her mouth.</p>
<p>“You are absolutely insufferable.” He shook his head.</p>
<p>“Sorry baby” She caressed his face still giggling a bit.</p>
<p>“The worst.”</p>
<p>“I know.”</p>
<p>He chuckled with her. He was leaning on her shoulder, probably tired too.</p>
<p>“Hey, party animal, are you ready to head back?” she shook the shoulder he was leaning on a bit.</p>
<p>“In a moment, dance with me first.” he stood up and extended his hand to her.</p>
<p>“I thought you didn’t like to dance?”</p>
<p>“Not knowing how, does not equal to not liking to.”</p>
<p>“Well at least you admit you suck at this, good enough.” She took his hands in hers. Some kind of rhythmic Indie song was on now, she could work with that. “Ok, let’s dance”</p>
<p>They swayed to the music for a bit. He lifted his arm so that she would spin. She did and then lifted her hand too.</p>
<p>“What?” he looked confused.</p>
<p>“I am all about reciprocating, baby, spin!” She assisted him a bit since the guy was pretty drunk.</p>
<p>“Whoa, that was…”</p>
<p>“I know, it is fun that is precisely why I reciprocate. Want me to rock your world?”</p>
<p>“What are you..?”</p>
<p>“Lean back” She put her hand on his waist and her leg a bit forward in a stance so she wouldn’t fall. “Don’t worry, I won’t let you fall, lean back.”</p>
<p>He did. She led him in a swoop down and the back up again. The amazement in his eyes made it all worth it.</p>
<p>“Did you like that?”</p>
<p>“Wow, this is crazy” He smiled ecstatically at her.</p>
<p>“Glad you appreciate my skills.”</p>
<p>The song ended. Ermal was looking more and more loopy each second and she was also feeling tired and tipsy. Probably time to go home.</p>
<p>“Ermal, are you ready to head back?”</p>
<p>He just nodded, leaning on her shoulder again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Alright guys, I think I will take this party boy home now.”</p>
<p>“He does look all partied out.” Marco noted. He was also looking pretty loopy.</p>
<p>“Yep, pretty much and I think I am also.” She tightened her grip on his waist so he wouldn’t fall. “Great concert you guys, it was amazing as always.”</p>
<p>She really did enjoy these evenings when they played. She was super proud of her friends. She would never say that in these exact words but they knew anyways.</p>
<p>Ermal was still leaning on her shoulder, looking pretty pale.</p>
<p>“Hey, Ermal, please do not throw up on me, here, drink some water.”  She held him by the waist, grabbing his shirt so he wouldn’t fall. Her phone pinged announcing that taxi had arrived. Great timing.</p>
<p>“Let’s go pretty boy, let me take you to your bed. Bye guys, thank you for the nice evening, it was fun!”</p>
<p>“Yeah bye, seeyoughfj” murmured Ermal, part of the sentence was spoken in Sofia’s shoulder.</p>
<p>Their friends waved their goodbyes laughing at Ermal. The poor guy probably wouldn’t live this whole evening down.</p>
<p>It was pretty chilly outside, the wind blowing harsher that in the evening and since it was 2 am, the city had had the time to cool down significantly. Ermal shivered. Sofia was looking around for the car hoping that the cold air would sober her up and Ermal too so he wouldn’t throw up in the car at least.</p>
<p>“Oh ok, there is our taxi” She was trying to get the drunk and uncooperative Ermal in the taxi when he suddenly bent down his head and she hit it against the car door.</p>
<p>“Shit, shit, shit, sorry, did I injure you?” She looked at his forehead. It was hard to see in the light of the few street lamps and her head was spinning a bit too much too. Suddenly she realized how drunk she was also.</p>
<p>“I don’t think so, I don’t feel anything” She touched his forehead but didn’t feel any bump there yet, just some wetness. Was that sweat? Blood? Fuck fuck fuck.</p>
<p>“Shit,ok, let’s go to the dorm and we will sort it out there.”</p>
<p>She put him in the car and and pulled the seatbelt around him too. Safety is important, kids!</p>
<p>She sat down on the other side, confirming the address of their dorms to the driver.</p>
<p>“I want to see Bizio.”</p>
<p>“Ermal you just saw him couple of hours ago, remember? And you are drunk right now. I do not think that’s a good idea.” It really wasn’t a good idea. Ermal was dumb when he was drunk, she didn’t really want him to do stupid things when inebriated especially when those things involved Fabri.</p>
<p>Thankfully Ermal wasn’t sick on the way back home. Sofia thanked all of the higher powers in the universe that the injury she had caused wasn’t too bad either. She helped him wash his face and put a bandaid on his forehead. He would probably live. That’s how she left him, passed out on his bed, still dressed. It was ok, there were just so many favors she was willing to do, and she already done enough for him this evening. Knowing Ermal he would probably wake up at some ungodly hour anyways, he could change then. Tomorrow was Saturday; he could sleep all day if he wanted to. She would sleep all day tomorrow. Yes, totally, all studies be damned. And with that thought she headed up to her own room, finally for some well-deserved rest.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p>Ermal did in fact wake up at “some ungodly hour”. 3 am to be precise. He was thirsty, his head still hurt and was spinning and also his forehead was hurting in a different way and he wasn’t feeling like sleep anymore. He was feeling shitty. There was only one person who could fix this.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you so much for supporting my bullshit.<br/>I am really very thankful for the kudos and comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Chapter 8</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Where if you are asked to stay, you do. Simple as that.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Heyy, didn't keep you waiting for long did I :D </p><p>I am weak for this chapter so I wanted to share it with the world as soon as possible. </p><p>And as it is my birthday tomorrow I might as well give a present too ;) </p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It is a special kind of panic that settles in your blood, when someone rings your doorbell at fuck-knows-what-time at night. Quick glance at his phone informed Fabrizio it was actually 3:24 and there were no missed calls or messages. Who could it be? A bit cautious he went to the door and looked through the peephole.</p><p>It was Ermal. Huh.</p><p>“Ermal? What happened?” There was blood on his eye. Fabrizio’s heartbeat went even wilder in a second.</p><p>“You worry too much, this is just a scratch.” He wiped away some of the blood with his hand and ok, it really didn’t look too bad. At least it wasn’t his eye that was bleeding. Ok, Fabrizio could work with that.</p><p>“How did you get <em>a scratch</em> like this?” He pulled the very drunk Ermal inside the apartment. How did he manage to get this drunk? He wasn’t half as bad before Fabrizio left the party. They had said goodbye to each other and Ermal had been tipsy, sure, what with all the hugging and the downright <em>caresses </em>he bestowed upon Fabrizio<em>, </em>but it definitely hadn’t been this bad. How many shots and how much time had passed since then?</p><p>“I fell, ok? I was dancing with Sofia and then she got us a taxi and hit my head against the door. She tries her best to take care of me, but I am not the easiest to take care of. Like right now I basically ran away from her. She told me to stay put, but I am a rebel Fabri.” Ermal laughed. “We were dancing you know? Can you imagine me dancing? Me and my two left feet.”</p><p>Fabrizio actually could imagine. In all of his long limbed and curly-haired glory Ermal was graceful. He probably was not half as bad as he thought he was.  Ermal and Sofia probably made a great couple on that dance floor, never mind how silly the actual dance was. He was disgusted with himself about how bitter that sounded in his mind.</p><p>Fabrizio made a sound that resembled a chuckle. Distantly. </p><p>“Sad I missed that then” No, he wasn’t. “Come here; let me take care of that bruise, we have to clean it.”</p><p>Fabrizio took him to the kitchen area, sitting him down on the chair by the kitchen table and went to find some antiseptic and a band aid.</p><p>“She even dipped me” Ermal was still giggling. “I never thought that it would feel so good. The guys will never let me live that one down. It’s probably on a video somewhere in a group chat. Marco can be an asshole like that.”</p><p>As much as Fabrizio loved his dopey voice, he really wished Ermal would shut up. He sounded too happy and too much in love. And although Fabrizio had already resigned to let him go, this hurt. Hopefully it would stop someday; Fabrizio enjoyed Ermal’s company too much to lose this friendship over this.</p><p>He went to the bathroom and got the necessary supplies. He also fetched some painkillers for the inevitable headache Ermal will get.</p><p>He took a moment to breathe and look into his own eyes in the reflection of the mirror. A pair of strained and sad eyes was looking back at him. The early hour probably didn’t help. He had to get himself together.</p><p>Fabrizio knew Ermal was straight, he would never be interested like that and he knew he had to stop being so clingy and start acting like all of the other of Ermal’s friends. Cause that is what he is. And now with this whole Sofia situation things were clear. He had to step back even more; for himself, not Ermal this time.</p><p>He exhaled and headed back to the kitchen. Ermal came to him after all, so he needed him right now. That counted for something.</p><p>“Alright, here we are.” He turned Ermal’s face upwards a bit and started to dab away some of the blood.</p><p>“Ouch” Ermal winced.</p><p>“I’m sorry, but we have to clean the wound. It looks like it’s your brow that has been cut.”</p><p>Fabrizio tried to get the job done quickly, wiping away the blood, cleaning the wound and sealing with bandaid. Hopefuly it would hold. He caressed Ermal’s forehead one last time before drawing his hands away. Ermal caught his hand in his. Surprisingly agile considering he stumbled when walking.</p><p> “I like your hands”</p><p>“Ermal...” Frabrizio sighed. Confusing. He is always so confusing. Also drunk. He’s very drunk right now.</p><p>“Hold me like this for a bit. I like it when you do that – caress my hair or my face or my hands. I really am not picky. You know, I usually do not like people touching my hair but it is nice when you do it. You are so gentle with me.” Ermal never could shut up, drinking made that significantly worse, since the moment alcohol entered his bloodstream, every brain to mouth filter left his head, that was common knowledge around his friend group. “This is so nice, I like it when we are like this.”</p><p>Ermal put his hands back on his face and Fabrizio was only one man. He let his hands wander up and tangle in the so familiar curly head of hair.</p><p>“Mmm” Ermal looked like a satisfied cat, all smiles, eyes closed and drunk, Fabrizio, <em>he is drunk</em>. But he will always get his way, at least with Fabrizio he could get away with anything, could <em>ask</em> for anything and probably would get it. It wasn’t fair.</p><p>“We should really get you to bed. I will find you something to wear.” He tried to withdraw his hands from those gorgeous curls.</p><p>“Noo don’t leave, Bizio, stay with me.” He caught his hands again. Shit, why is he so good at this? “You are so beautiful. I wish I was this nice to look at, perhaps then…”</p><p>And then Fabrizio could see the moment Ermal’s whole face went white and then almost green, how he tried to get away for him. He just made it to bathroom to throw up. Fabrizio rushed after him, to make sure he was ok.</p><p>“I am so sorry” Ermal murmured.</p><p>“It’s ok love, just come on, let’s clean you up and get you to bed. You will feel better once you sleep this off, yeah?”</p><p>He nodded. Ok then.</p><p>He helped Ermal rinse out his mouth, fed him an ibuprofen pill. Ok, sleeping arrangements. The couch was out of question since Ermal would fall asleep sooner than he would be able to find some sheets and pillows to make it and he wanted him to be comfortable. He would probably be in pain in the morning anyways. His bed it was then. Awesome. Good. It was fine.</p><p>He pushed Ermal in the direction of the bedroom. Ermal was struggling out of his fancy patterned button up, but managing the buttons seemed to be out of his capabilities Right, that would probably be uncomfortable to sleep in. A <em>friend</em> would help. And so he fucking did. He found a t-shirt to give him, gently untangled Ermal from the shirt he got caught up in, with clinical efficiency got him into the t-shirt. It was fine. It was not like he saw him without a shirt for the first time. Never this close, but still. It was fine. Ermal thankfully managed the jeans on his own. Almost. They got caught on his ankles and it was almost funny watching him try to wriggle them off. Almost.</p><p>“Am I sleeping in your bed?” he asked as if noticing it for the first time.</p><p>Fabrizio ignored him “Ermal, see here is a glass of water and some more ibuprofen if you need some.”</p><p>“Are you leaving?” Ermal looked… pouty for a lack of a better word.</p><p>What did he want him to…</p><p>“Stay here” Ermal whispered.</p><p>And it’s… ok he would stay for a bit until Ermal would fall asleep. Probably won’t take too long anyways. He lied beside him, smoothed the blanket over Ermal and Ermal caught his hand which seemed to be a reoccurring move of this bizarre night.</p><p>“Hmm….Bizio” he murmured almost asleep, curling his fingers around Fabrizio’s palm and burrowed into it and the pillow beneath, his breathing evening out. Probably the alcohol leaving his bloodstream, was taking all the borrowed energy with it.</p><p>And so he was stuck. The good thing to do was to wait for a couple of minutes and then free his hand and leave to sleep on the couch. Ermal had asked him to stay. As much as it was masochistic of him to do so, it was also selfish. Ermal was drunk and whatever he did and say right now he couldn’t be accountable for. He would probably remember this all very vaguely if at all in the morning. And then Fabrizio would be stuck in a different way. But wasn’t he already? And while he was contemplating this, he felt the exhaustion hit him, making the decision easier. Damn it all. He hovered on the switch of the bedside lamp, taking in the view of the curly mop of hair on one of his pillows and the hand holding onto his. Beautiful. All would hurt in the morning though – his hand from the weird angle it was in, his head from the missed sleep and his heart for the reason that was peacefully sleeping beside him like he belonged there. He closed his eyes and let the sleep claim him too.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Oh god, tell me why I woke up in your bed.” Those were the words that reached Fabrizio while he was sitting on the couch reading some stuff on his phone sipping his morning coffee. It was 11 though. Ermal looked disheveled and had changed back into him own clothes.</p><p>“You… I mean I…” he started.</p><p>“Why am I here at all?” Ermal asked again, interrupting Fabrizio’s foolish attempts to explain the situation.</p><p>Oh ok, he meant it in a broader sense then. And didn’t remember much from last night it seemed. That’s for the better probably.</p><p>“You came here” <em>to me</em> he wanted to add, but didn’t “it was maybe 4 am? You were there ringing my doorbell all bloody. Definitely made an impression.”</p><p> “Oh man, that explains the bandaid” he touched his forehead and then hid his eyes suddenly looking uncomfortable “How embarrassing was I?”</p><p><em>You told me you liked my hands and then asked me to stay several times while I was caressing your hair, and fell asleep holding my hand, </em>Fabrizio thought<em>. </em>He couldn’t say that aloud though.</p><p>“Meh, you mean apart from the rapping?”</p><p>“The what?!” Ermal removed his hands from his face to look at him incredulously.</p><p>Fabrizio burst out laughing. “I’m joking Ermal, you didn’t do anything, I patched you up and put you to bed, that’s all.”</p><p>“Thanks, man” he looked relieved. What did he think he did?</p><p>“Anytime” He smiled. Some things you just have to let go for your own good.  “Coffee?”</p><p>“Yes please.”</p><p>Fabrizio’s hand, predictably, hurt when he reached for another cup.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for the comments and kudos! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Chapter 9</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Not all days are good days. But you gotta make do.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I updated the chapter count again *facepalm* Now it should be correct though. </p><p>Enjoy the chapter!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ermal smoked two cigarettes consecutively on his way back from Fabrizio’s apartment and contemplated a third. No, that would make him sick probably, and he was already feeling like shit.</p><p>He was mortified. When he woke up in that bed alone, blurry images of last night came to his mind. The whole evening had felt like he was watching it from a third point of view, like he said things and did things and felt things and had no control over any of that. And remembering it was the worst bit. He couldn’t remember exactly, but he could remember what he had felt. Feeling dizzy from the dance with Sofia, hurting from hitting his head, how lonely and cold he felt waking up in the dorm room, annoyance at his own inability to type Fabrizio’s address in the taxi app, feeling jittery and happy while ringing the doorbell, feeling so cared for in Fabrizio’s arms and how warm his hand felt on his cheek, craving more, more and more of that warmth, that closeness.</p><p>Could he throw himself more at the guy? It had been stupid to drink that much, and it was stupid to go to Fabrizios when he had had this much alcohol. So yeah it had seemed to be better at the time to play dumb, to not admit and feel out the field. Conceal don’t feel. Eugh. He watched entirely too much of Frozen with Libero and Anita.</p><p>But Fabrizio, the friend that he was, didn’t bring up any of that embarrassing crap. And that was great, it made Ermal feel instantly better for lying. It meant Fabri didn’t want to talk about it and that was good cause neither did Ermal. He drank his coffee while talking about random stuff, gratefully accepted another ibuprofen pill and headed out. To mourn and bury the memories which he shouldn’t have had in the first place.</p><p> </p><p>Then on Monday his phone rang in the middle of his lunch. Huh, Fabri never called in the middle of the work day.</p><p>“Ermal!” Bizio sounded worried “Please tell me you are free this afternoon”</p><p>Uh oh, that didn’t sound good. “I can be if necessary.”</p><p>“They just called from school, Libero’s sick, I have to take him home, but I am the only one at work today, Claudio is away on a job for the full day.” Fabri sounded panicked. Oh man. “Giada can’t go also my parents are out of the city this week. You are my only hope.”</p><p>“Ok calm down, princess Leia, I can go.” The Linguistics class could wait; Sofia would give him her notes anyways. Some things are just more important.</p><p>“Thank you! I will call the school and tell them you are picking him up. Thank you Ermal.”</p><p>“Oh but don’t I need the children seat for the car?”</p><p>“Come to my work, we can exchange cars, I will also give you the keys to my flat.”</p><p>Alright, that was not how he dreamed that would go. Fuck his brain worked in strange ways, not the time Ermal, not the time.</p><p>Ermal rushed back to the dorms, back to get his (still super shitty) car. He talked to it all the way to Fabrizio’s job, telling it to behave and not break down on Fabrizio. It had broken down on Ermal enough times already.</p><p> Fabri pulled him in a hug the moment they met.</p><p>“Thank you, Ermal” he said, lips close to his ear. Ermal nearly shivered. Not. The. Time. “Here, take the keys to the car, and these are the keys to the apartment.”<br/>“Alright, here are mine, hope it won’t just fall apart. It is kinda on its last legs.”</p><p>“It will be fine; I know how to deal with it and I hope I won’t have to drive anywhere.”</p><p>That was true; Fabri had helped him fix it too many times to count.</p><p>“Ok, I am going.”</p><p>“I will rush home the moment I can get away from here” Fabri still sounded panicked “I will send you the doctor’s phone number if it seems bad and the medicine is…”</p><p>“…in the cabinet in the bathroom. I know. We will be fine.” He could deal with sore throats and temperature; it wasn’t the first time either.</p><p>“Ok” Fabrizio smiled seeming calmer.</p><p> </p><p>It took some time to find the school nurse cabinet. Ermal hand’t been in Libero’s school yet, since the guy had started it just two months ago. The school looked nice, pretty cosy and colourful.</p><p>“Ermal! Why are you here?” Libero looked confused.</p><p>“Hi, big guy, I am picking you up.” He looked up at the nurse who was standing in front of him. “Yes, hello, I am here to pick up Libero Mobrici, Fabrizio, his dad should have informed you I would be the one to pick him up.”</p><p>“ID please.” The nurse didn’t seem super impressed. He quickly pulled out his wallet and his driver’s licence.</p><p>The nurse slowly looked at the ID and at his face.</p><p>“Alright, please sign here that you have picked him up.”</p><p>After signing they finally could go out.</p><p>“How are you feeling?”</p><p>“I’m dizzy and my throat hurts” Libero said, in a weak voice.</p><p>“Alright, that we can at fix home with some spray and good sleep, right?”</p><p>Libero shrugged. “Why didn’t dad pick me up?”</p><p>That was a loaded question. Ermal pondered how to answer best.</p><p>“Dad is a bit caught up at the moment, but he promised he will come home as soon as he can. But I am here!” Ermal did some jazz hands “I can pull all the stops on the entertainment and food and stuff! And I am totally not against watching cartoons all afternoon.”</p><p>Ermal helped Libero up into the car and pulled the seatbelt around him.</p><p>“I don’t like dad’s job, he is always busy.”</p><p>Oh boy.</p><p>“Yeah it isn’t great that dad has to be away for the whole day.”</p><p>“I would like him to be home all the time, to be with me.”</p><p>“Yeah, but you are also busy during the day now! Look how busy you are with school, dad is busy in his work, I am busy at my school too.”</p><p>“Anita has kindergarten”</p><p>“Exactly. See? Mom also has her job. Everyone is busy sometimes.” Ermal hoped this would be enough for now. He really didn’t know how to handle this conversation. “Dad promised he would be home as soon as possible.”</p><p>“I don’t mind hanging out with you too.” Libero said, finally smiling a bit.</p><p>“Of course you don’t – I am the best!” Phew, Libero seemed to be in a better mood now. All that was left to do was to figure out this sickness business.</p><p>They got to the apartment building and Ermal fiddled with the keys to open the doors. It was strange entering the empty Mobrici apartment. He had babysat the kids, sure, but when he came there, the door was always opened by Fabrizio – smiley, or tired or whatever else.</p><p>“Ok, I will find the thermometer and some medicine. Do you want to eat something?”</p><p>Libero shook his head.</p><p>“Ok, then you can probably head up to your room and change.”</p><p>“Can I stay in the living room?”</p><p>“Yeah, sure buddy, but you still should probably change your clothes.”</p><p>He nodded and headed to his room.</p><p>Ok then, bathroom, medicine cabinet, medicine. Thermometer. There we go.</p><p>When he returned to the living room Libero wasn’t there yet. He shot Fabri a quick message.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>We are home, everything is fine, don’t worry too much.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>He heard footsteps approaching from the corridor.</p><p>“Hey buddy” Ermal made him comfortable on the couch, went to fetch a blanket from Libero’s bed and a pillow and brought it to the living room, to make sure he was warm. He took the temperature and touched his forehead, it didn’t feel <em>too</em> too warm. His phone pinged.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>How is he feeling? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>Thankfully temperature wasn’t too high.</p><p>
  <em>Not too bad, sore throat, sniffles and a bit of temperature. It’s just a cold, Bizio.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>I will be home as soon as I can make sure he sleeps thank you so much ermal</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>No worries</em>
</p><p> </p><p>“Are you texting dad?”</p><p>“Yep, he says you should sleep.”</p><p>“I don’t wanna” he said in a tone ready to argue.</p><p>Ah yeah, shouldn’t have suggested sleep. Both of Bizio’s kids were allergic to that word. He respected it. “Didn’t you feel dizzy though?”</p><p>Libero was just shaking his head at him again and again and again.</p><p>“Ok, how about this, we will watch some tv” he knew the boy will fall asleep anyways, sickness tires everyone out. The last thing he needed was a tantrum, the kid felt bad enough without adding tears and screaming to it.</p><p>“Yes!” Libero seemed excited at that. Cool.</p><p>As predicted, Libero fell asleep couple of minutes into the second Adventure Time episode. Ermal covered him better with the blanket and brushed his hair out of his eyes. His hands didn’t seem cold and he wasn’t shivering and that was a good sign. Everything would be ok.</p><p>He got invested in the story of Marceline so he finished the episode. Checked over Libero again and went to the kitchen and made himself a sandwich. When he came back a different show was on, something with bears. His phone announced a new message.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Where were u? Missed u @ the socio</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Oh yeah, he forgot to text Sofia.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Bet you did lol :D </em>
</p><p>He took a photo of the tv screen with the cartoon on</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Aww we bare bears! Love that one! Ice Bear is my guy. Wait, so you at Fabrizios, I presume? </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Probably not a hard logical chain to make - Ermal didn’t have many friends who owned apartments.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Libero is sick, I am looking after him.</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Aww, co-parenting, how sweet. Hope the kid gets better soon. </em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Ermal didn’t dignify that with an answer.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>See if I give you the notes from the super exciting lecture I just experienced</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He ignored her again.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Ass</em>
</p><p> </p><p>He sent her a selfie with his tongue out</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>Such an ass and you are getting nothing ermal meta. </em>
</p><p>She sent him a picture of her middle finger raised holding her notebook close to her chest.</p><p>
  
</p><p>Fabrizio came home, checked over the sleeping Libero and hugged Ermal and kissed him on the cheek.</p><p>“Thank you so much”</p><p>“Don’t worry about it” he really wished Fabri wouldn’t feel like he was somehow burdening Ermal with this.</p><p>“I still have to pick up Anita from kindergarten, where are my car keys?” he asked while handing Ermal the keys to his car back.</p><p>“On the counter.”</p><p>“It hopefully won’t take too long, I will return and then you can go - I know you have your own life to get back to.”</p><p>“I am not rushing anywhere, stop feeling like you owe me something ” He wished he could explain how this made him feel domestic and warm and like a part of a family. <em>This</em> family in particular.</p><p>“I do owe you so much though, thank you for being so good to me and my kids.” Fabrizio said hugging him again. Ermal didn’t know what to say to that. Fabrizio didn’t seem to expect him to say anything though as he went to find his keys and head out again.</p><p>Ermal’s cheek was still tingling where Fabri’s lips had been a bit ago.</p><p> </p><p>When Fabrizio returned again, it was with a fussy Anita in his hands. </p><p>“Emmal!” She yelled tearfully, extending her hands to him and squirming in Fabri’s grip.</p><p>“Aww, who wronged you, princess?” he took her from Fabrizio and hugged her close.</p><p>“Papa” she pointed her finger at him.</p><p>“Yeah, Papa has wronged everyone today, huh” Fabrizio sighed.</p><p>He sounded tired and defeated. Oh man.</p><p> </p><p>The roller coaster that turned out to be this evening took Ermal through every twist and turn. He calmed Anita down with a promise to play with her. When Libero woke up he also wasn’t in the best mood. Who could blame him tough, colds where the worst. Both of the kids wanted Ermal’s attention and he did what he could – tried to get both of them to eat, which ended in tears, get Libero to take his medicine which he refused to take from Fabri, which also ended in angry tears. Fabrizio gave up at one point and let Ermal handle the kids, since that seemed to work slightly better.</p><p>Play time with Anita ended with Ermal covered in kitten stickers and they all ended up watching more cartoons with Libero. At least that seemed to calm both of the kids down enough so that Ermal could hear his own thoughts again.</p><p>Bed time was a nightmare again. Both where as uncooperative as can be although exhausted. Anita cried her eyes out and Libero, although almost asleep in the living room already made a big fuss about moving back to their room and his own bed.  It took two stories and three songs when they finally fell asleep. Ermal made sure that the night light was on, that Libero wasn’t cold, that Anita’s pink hippo was still in her bed and not on the floor and then finally left the room.</p><p>He entered living room and saw Fabrizio sitting on the couch, his eyes closed and his head on the backrest.</p><p>“Oh my god they both really hate me today.” He sounded so sad.</p><p>“They do not, tomorrow everything will be as usual, you will see, and Libero will forgive you also.”</p><p>“I will not forgive myself for this” he sighed. “Am I really that shitty of a parent?”</p><p>“You are a great parent do not even think about that.” Ermal knew about shitty parents. Shitty fathers at least. Fabrizio definitely wasn’t anywhere near shitty.</p><p>“It just hasn’t been the best day.”</p><p>“I know, but here we are, right? Today is almost over, tomorrow will be better” he patted Fabri’s shoulder and resisted the urge to cuddle him. He hated seeing Fabri so sad, it broke his heart too.  “Wanna talk about it?</p><p>“No, honestly I just want to go to bed myself” he closed his eyes again “Thank you for today Ermal, I know I have asked a lot from you.”</p><p>“Seriously Fabri, you make it sound like a chore to hang out with your kids.” Ermal was almost annoyed. “I love them, they are great even when they are like this and I am happy to help you out. I’m just glad Libero is going to be ok.”</p><p>Fabrizio’s face lit up in a smile. First genuine one this evening.</p><p>“Thank you”</p><p>Fabrizio reached his hand towards him and touched his neck. What…</p><p>“Kitten sticker” he explained when he removed his hand and showed it to Ermal.</p><p>Oh.</p><p>He took it from his fingers and stuck it to Fabrizio’s forehead. Fabrizio laughed and made no attempt to remove it. This felt better.</p><p>Ok, then, it was his queue to leave and let Fabri catch up on some sleep. He got up.</p><p>“I guess I should head out, still gotta catch Sofia and bully her into giving me notes from today.”</p><p>Fabrizio laughed and got up too. “I still don’t get how you two, the most stubborn people I know, get along so great.”</p><p>“Well what can I say, it is definitely a very emotional relationship.”</p><p>“Yeah… yeah I get that” his voice cracked a bit.</p><p>Ermal put his hands in his jeans pockets. Something metallic touched his fingers.</p><p>“Oh shit, almost forgot, here are your house keys.” He extended them back to their owner.</p><p>“Keep them, I have another set. It’s good to know that someone I can trust with the kids has them.”</p><p>Oh man. That was a lot.</p><p>Ermal had to hug him, right now. But then he leaned in and Bizio was right there and he couldn’t help himself. He pressed his lips to his cheek. Bizio pulled him closer, hands on his waist and buried his face in Ermal’s neck. He felt Bizio’s soft breath on his neck and could almost imagine feeling his lips there on that spot too. And this… this felt amazing, it felt huge and important and totally not how friends work.  And Ermal wanted. To feel those lips there for real, to caress back and kiss, to <em>stay</em>…</p><p>He couldn’t. He couldn’t deal with any of this. He didn’t know how to even start dealing with any of this. So he ran.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank your reading and leaving comments and kudos!</p><p>By the way, here is my tumblr if anyone wants to say hi backtosquaretwo.tumblr.com/</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Chapter 10</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Tough love might be too tough sometimes and sometimes it was just what was needed.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sofia's POV. </p><p>It will be a ride, definitely. </p><p>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Well, well, well, look who came here to beg me for notes huh, how the tables have tabled.” Sofia said while opening the door. `</p><p>“Sofia, I fucked up”</p><p>She looked up and uh oh a pair of panicked eyes was looking at her. He would look comical if he wouldn’t look so upset.</p><p>“Oh no, what happened?” she ushered him in and watched him fall face first on her bed.</p><p>“Fuck, it’s stupid.”</p><p>“Well, we are talking about you so no surprises there.”</p><p> Ermal glared at her. Good, at least they were getting away from that desperate look. She hadn’t liked that one.</p><p>“I spent the afternoon and evening with the kids” he started.</p><p>“Yeah, co-parenting, I got that from the texts.”</p><p>He glared at her again.</p><p>“And then, when I was set to leave, essentially…” he dug his hand in his pocket and retrieved a set of keys “he gave me his house keys.”</p><p>I guess he saw surprise in her eyes since he rushed to explain further. “You know, for emergencies and stuff.”</p><p>“Mhm.” Sure, she could buy that.</p><p>“Like, I know it’s probably not such a big deal, but at the same time it is for me. Sofia, he trusts me so much to give me his <em>keys</em>.”</p><p>“Ok.” She could buy that also. Everyone knew that already, but apparently not Ermal, ok. That didn’t undermine the fact that it is a big deal for Ermal though.</p><p>“So this is the part where I start being stupid. “ He sighed.</p><p>She looked at him and raised her eyebrow. This did seem to lead in such a good direction though.</p><p>“We hugged, obviously and we kinda lingered there. I kissed his cheek, he was holding me.”</p><p>This kept leading in a good direction.</p><p>“And?” she inadvertently clenched her fists.</p><p>“I would’ve kissed him. I wanted to.” He said in a small voice.</p><p>She let go. Of course. “And you didn’t because..?”</p><p>He glared at her again. Well baby, you get what you get when you come here, he should know that by now.  Anyways. “Ok, and then?”</p><p>“Well I am here, aren’t I!”</p><p>Oh. Right. “And you are here because..?”</p><p>“Because I ran away, I didn’t want to face this, fuck he just gave me his house keys! And here I go, fucking it all up.”</p><p>“So… totally no pressure and asking just to clarify the situation, but which part do you consider the fuck up – the nearly kiss or the fleeing?”</p><p>“I don’t know” Ermal whispered.</p><p>“Well I have <em>my</em> opinion of course” she didn’t think she needed to voice it.</p><p>“Sof, I don’t … I can’t…”</p><p>“Yeah, we’ve been through this already Ermal.” She was rubbing his back “But I don’t see anything bad in…”</p><p>“I hate how I make this pure thing between us, the one of the only pure things I have in my life and make it disgusting and gross.”</p><p>“Love isn’t gross, baby. Well I mean for me it seems pretty meh, but in general it isn’t. No kind of love is gross either it is friendship or romantic kind. Just because you desire a person doesn’t make the love impure.”</p><p>“It feels gross when the other party doesn’t feel the same.”</p><p>“Why are you so sure he doesn’t?” she asked a bit irritated.</p><p>“Come on, look at me.”</p><p>“I am looking, the question still stands.”</p><p>“I am a complete and total disaster of a human being; I make everything I touch awkward and weird.”</p><p>“I am going to ignore that.” Sofia sighed “Baby, tell me would you stay there? If you were in Fabri’s place, if you didn’t have those romantic feelings, would you stay in that embrace, reciprocate it even?”</p><p>“I don’t know, it might’ve not felt as different for him as it did for me, maybe I am making a big deal out of nothing.”</p><p>She <em>looked</em> at him.</p><p>“What?” he shrugged. “It’s true - scientifically speaking my point of view of that situation is highly subjective.”</p><p>“You are going to kill me, Ermalmeta.” she sighed. Desperate measures needed to be taken. “Do you want to hear an absolutely uncut opinion?</p><p>“That’s why I am here Sof.”</p><p>“Ok, so facts. You are gorgeous and smart and talented and quick-witted. An absolute catch. You have been friends for what, almost three years now? He adores you, his <em>children, </em>which I assume is a big factor in this equation, also adore you. He’s been there for you, you have been there for him, he always makes a point to make some time for you, comes to every single one of your sets in that stupid bar he hates so obviously. So when we count this all together and come to this point of tonight - why can’t you even entertain the thought that he wanted to, also?”</p><p>“But we are exactly that - friends. I help him out, he does the same for me, obviously. As with most of these things.”</p><p>“Right, totally.” She rolled her eyes.</p><p>“And since we are friends that extends to also some provided physical touch too. That’s how we are, that’s how Bizio is. He has been like that forever with me and it doesn’t mean anything. ”</p><p>“And you didn’t break your neck jumping to all of those conclusions?” she said snidely.</p><p>“No! You listen to me!” he was frustrated “you can say all this crazy shit to me and give me these ideas, but at the same time it is going to be <em>my</em> life and <em>my</em> relationship with Fabri that is ruined. You think any of this is easy? It may look so from where you are, but here” he put his hand on his chest “It all hurts as hell and it will hurt even more now that I have gone and ruined everything. I can’t <em>breathe</em> properly right now from how bad I feel and from fear of what will happen once I meet him again. I guess it was a mistake to come here, since you will never understand, since you do not have a heart, Sofia Renard. I will just go.”</p><p>It wasn’t often that Sofia was lost for words. But this…</p><p>“Just please give me those stupid notes, Sofia.” He said, extending his hand.</p><p>She hesitated. It didn’t seem right to let him leave like this.</p><p>“Please” he said in a smaller voice.</p><p>She gave him the notes. He said thanks in an even smaller voice and left her room. Shit.</p><p> </p><p>She lasted for half an hour before going down the long dorm corridors and down the stairs to knock on Ermal’s door.</p><p>“Hey” he said when opening the door.</p><p>“Hey” she answered softly “So I guess I understand parts of it, since my non-existant heart hurts right now.”</p><p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that.”</p><p>“I know, you were hurt and upset. I am sorry also.” She extended her hands for a hug. Ermal eagerly accepted it. “I get that none of it is easy. I sometimes do not get where the line between tough love and just harshness is, and end up being unfair.”</p><p>“I know. Usually I like that about you, but today was a bit much for me.”</p><p>“I will try to be better about it. I guess you just needed a shoulder to vent on, not my attitude.” He nodded. She reached for his hand, taking it in hers. “I love you and I just want you to be happy, baby.”</p><p>“I love you too” he squeezed her hand back.</p><p>“So hey, let’s just forget about it, huh? Your Bizio probably has enough on his plate right now with a sick kid. Take this time to think about it, or hey, don’t think about at all for a bit. It will all seem different tomorrow anyways.” He just needed a bit of time to process probably.</p><p>“Probably you are right.”</p><p>”Want to have a movie night tomorrow evening? We can order the junkiest of foods and watch some silly horror.”</p><p>“Yes, as long as I can choose the movie.”</p><p>“I am fine with that. Get some sleep now, baby.” She caressed his cheek.</p><p>“Goodnight Sofia.”</p><p>“Goodnight Ermal.”</p><p>She headed back to her room now at least lighter knowing everything was fine between them. And it was true, it hurt. She couldn’t handle half an hour feeling like she fucked up everything. The poor boy was feeling like that for hours now. A completely unwarranted feeling as it was in Ermal’s case. But that was her logical, rational, uninvolved mind making those conclusions – for those two people involved, when there are so many feelings; it is probably hard sometimes to see the forest behind the trees. It’s ok, he would get there.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“So ok, I found Paranormal Activity on Netflix, where are my fries.” Ermal was at her door with his laptop in his hands, his hair tied back, wearing white t-shirt and sweatpants.</p><p>“<em>Paranormal Activity</em>?” she scrunched her nose, but let him in.</p><p>“Yes, or do you want to watch Ghost Hunters?” he said while eating a french frie.</p><p>“I don’t know which is worse”</p><p>“You said dumb horror not <em>horror</em> horror.”</p><p>“Fair enough, I will need cues for jumpscares though still. My phone is dying, where is yours?”</p><p>“Didn’t take it with me.”</p><p>She looked at him disbelieving.</p><p>“I can survive an evening without my phone, excuse me.” He said incredulously and added a softer “And also I can’t stand the silence from Bizio.”</p><p>“Oh.” She got that “Ok, none of that now, Paranormal Activity it is, I will make do with my phone.”</p><p> </p><p>One Paranormal Activity later and while searching for the next (hey, it was only 9:30) Sofia remember a thing she wanted to bring up.</p><p>“Do you want to go to that stupid wedding with me?”</p><p>Ermal looked at her surprised “You sister’s? You are going?”</p><p>“Yeah I guess I kind of have to. I can do that much for her. And I have to see if she will be fine in the marriage, if the guy is still ok. But I realized I can’t survive it alone and my invitation say plus one so…”</p><p>“Of course I will.”</p><p>“Thank you, and well, at least we can get drunk and eat expensive foods right?”</p><p>“I know you still care about you sister, you don’t have to pretend in front of me.”</p><p>“I know, I am pretending in front of myself mostly.”  Her phone vibrated. She moved to the end of the bed to get it.</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Is Ermal with you? He is not answering his phone or my messages</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Fabrizio. Of course, the moment Ermal doesn’t have his phone, Fabri calls. She looked at Ermal who was drinking the last of his Fanta, waiting for her to get back and start the movie.</p><p>
  
</p><p>
  <em>He is should i tell him to call u? </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>Just tell him I’m by the dorms if he wants to talk</em>
</p><p>
  
</p><p>Oh ok, so Fabrizio has found his way out of the metaphorical forest faster than Ermal. Unexpected but great. Now to get Ermal downstairs and not send him into a panic attack.</p><p>“Ermal?” she started softly. </p><p>“Are you getting back here or what?”  </p><p>“I guess our movie night is over.”</p><p>“Why?”</p><p>“Because Fabrizio is downstairs.”</p><p>“What? No, no, <em>no</em>, Sofia, no I can’t talk to him.” He sounded panicky. Great job, 10s across the board.</p><p>“Do you want <em>me</em> to go talk to him? Cause you fucking watch me and I will” she made a move as if to get up. Well in for a penny…</p><p>“No!” he looked horrified.</p><p>“Ok then, here is what you are going to do, you will go and talk to him like a grown adult I can sometimes imagine you are.” Tough love - that is what she was good at and what he needed right now. And she absolutely knew this would end well. She wouldn’t send Ermal there if she wasn’t absolutely sure that there was only one person who was more desperate for this to work out – and that person was standing by their dorms, waiting.</p><p>“What am I going to say?” he still sounded panicked.</p><p>“Well <em>he</em> was the one who came here, so how about you listen to what he has to say first, huh?” she advised softly.</p><p>Ermal took a shaky breath “Ok, I can do that.”</p><p>“Of course you can.” She smoothed out his clothes a bit “And for what it’s worth, I don’t think he came here to fight with you.”</p><p>He nodded. She watched him take a deep breath, exhale and then walk out.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>We are nearing the ending here, and I am getting emotional. </p><p>I can't wait to post the next chapter as well ;) </p><p>Thank you for the kudos and comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Chapter 11</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Featuring Ermal “got a degree in languages, still can’t talk” Meta :D</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Every single chapter this guy suffers, I put him through so much.<br/>But it is ok, since I will not leave him heartbroken anyways. Obviously. Spoilers I guess. :D<br/>Enjoy!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ermal took a few more deep breaths before heading downstairs. He couldn’t do it. No, he could. He could. Just listen, right? Just like Sofia said. Okay.</p><p>There he was, standing by his car, smoking. He looked a bit stressed out too and that somehow calmed Ermal down a bit. It was just Fabrizio still, whatever happened. They nodded to each other in greeting.</p><p>“Who are the children with?”</p><p>Fabrizio smiled at that.</p><p>“What?” Ermal was confused.</p><p>“Of course you would ask about the children before anything else.”</p><p>Ermal shrugged, he didn’t know what to say to that.</p><p>“I called my sister, she is with them.” He chuckled “Turns out when I spend a whole day with them, they grow tired of me.”</p><p>Ermal couldn’t imagine that being true, the kids loved their father. “How is Libero?”</p><p>“It is a cold so he is still stuffed up and coughing, but he is getting better. It will be ok, he just needs some rest.”</p><p>“Good.” God, the conversation just refused to flow. He wanted to ask what he was doing here, but at the same time…</p><p>“So are you going to invite me in, or are we talking here?” Fabrizio asked and hastily added “I assume you want to talk since you came downstairs.”</p><p>“Sofia kind of pushed me out the door, but yeah, come on, let’s go to my room.” It probably was better to have some privacy. It was pretty cold also. Not that he had noticed, while the mortification was warming him up pretty well. Ermal turned to go back inside, his card ready to open the door.</p><p>“Did I disturb your night?” Fabrizio asked in that strange tone again, not moving from his spot.</p><p>“No, of course not” when had he ever. “Let’s go upstairs.”</p><p>“Cause I can go if you and Sofia had plans or something” he said “I don’t want to intrude.”</p><p>“You are not intruding, we were just watching some movies.” Ermal shrugged. He sounded too non-chalant and distant. Fabrizio didn’t look convinced. Why couldn’t he express himself properly? Turn on your brain, Ermal. He just opened the door and gestured Fabri to enter. They got to Ermal’s room in silence.</p><p>“So..” started Fabri.</p><p>“And so…” Ermal also started at the same time.</p><p>They both looked at each other. Fabri nodded for him to start.</p><p>“No, I don’t actually know what to say next. I just wanted to break the silence.” Stupid. Why was this all so awkward? Was this how it was going to be from now on?</p><p>“Ok then I will just…” he still looked all wrong. He had never been this uncomfortable around Ermal. God he really did fuck up, this was the worst case scenario. Fabri’s soft voice shook him out of his thoughts. “Ermal? You ok?”</p><p>“Yeah” He wasn’t. He wouldn’t ever be anymore at this rate. “Just tell me what you wanted to say.”</p><p>Fabrizio seemed to take a second before speaking again “I wanted to talk about yesterday.”</p><p>Oh man, here we go. Ermal tried to brace himself. ”What about exactly?”</p><p>“Did I make you uncomfortable?”</p><p>What. That wasn’t how this was supposed to go. When could he have made <em>Ermal</em> uncomfortable. “When?”</p><p>“Well you couldn’t get away from me and my home fast enough after...”</p><p>“No, you didn’t” he wished he could just open his mouth and the right words would come out. How to explain now without revealing too much?</p><p>“Just tell me what is happening in your mind I can hear you thinking from here.”</p><p>“It’s… I mean, it’s not like it seems…”</p><p>“Alright. So that is not working.” Fabrizio sighed. “I am just going to tell you what I have on my mind.”</p><p>“Ok.” That was probably better, at least Ermal would have a starting point.</p><p>“Are you in love with Sofia?”</p><p>“No. What? What gave you this idea?” this conversation kept throwing him off at every curve.</p><p>“You seem so close and you talk about her so… I don’t know, fondly I guess.”</p><p>“I do, yeah, but she’s my best friend. I am not in love with her.” Why Sofia? This was a confusing twist.</p><p>“Ok, so then would you… I mean.. aah is your inability to speak today contagious?” Fabrizio sounded a bit frustrated with himself and looked nervous.</p><p>Ermal chuckled at that. “I’m sorry, am I making you a worse human?”</p><p>“No.” Fabrizio said in a serious tone. Then he seemed to brace himself before continuing “No, you are not making me worse, I don’t think there is a universe where me meeting you is nothing short of a miracle.”</p><p>“Bizio…” Ermal’s hands shook a bit. This conversation didn’t seem to be going in any way Ermal could predict or expect.</p><p>“And here you are looking so beautiful even in sweatpants and what I assume is a barbeque sauce stain on your shirt.”</p><p>“Oh jesus, really? I look that idiotic for this?” he looked down to his shirt. Also did he just call him beautiful?</p><p>“It doesn’t matter, I like you in a stained shirt and in the best tailored suit, in your fancy patterned shirts and in a hoodie, right here and now, at my apartment, in bars, on stage, oh god, Ermal, how good do you look on stage... I like everything you do and everything you are. I am in love with you, Ermal Meta.”</p><p>Ermal’s heart stopped for that full speech and started beating twice as fast to make up for it afterwards. Bizio liked him. Bizio had come here specifically to tell him this. He had been nervous. How could Ermal respond?</p><p>“Well clearly it wasn’t the fashion choices that made <em>me</em> fall for <em>you.</em>”</p><p>Oh god, did he really just say it like that. Fabrizio laughed. He sounded so relieved.</p><p>“So am I nailing this or what?” Ermal laughed self-consciously and hid his face behind his hands. He was a human disaster.</p><p>Fabrizio laughed and caught his hands in his. “So you…”</p><p>“Wait, Bizio, that is not going to be the way I told you this, you deserve better. Wait. Let me arrange my thoughts” Where before he was overthinking, now he couldn’t think at all. He just kept looking, staring at Fabrizio and his honest eyes that were looking for the answer in his. “I’ve been in love with you for so long, I don’t know how it was not to be. I think by now it is a part of who I am. I never thought you would actually feel the same.”</p><p>“Well I can’t believe you feel like that about me.”</p><p>Fabrizio was still holding his hands. Ermal squeezed them a bit.</p><p>“…And to date you… Bizio, let’s go on a date.”</p><p>“I can’t believe this is real.” He looked a bit teary eyed. Ermal <em>felt</em> a bit teary eyed too.</p><p>Fabrizio let go of his hands and exchanged it for embracing him. His hands were around Ermal’s neck, wandering into his hair. Ermal’s body felt all shaky from the relief still and the absolute joy building up in his chest. He put his hands around Fabrizio and held on tight. He never wanted to let go.</p><p>“So is that a yes to the date?” Ermal asked. He was pretty sure it was.</p><p>“Yes, of course it’s a yes.” Fabrizio said extracting himself out of the embrace enough to look at Ermal’s face again. “I would love to go on a date with you.”</p><p>Ermal barely resisted jumping up and down. Okay, he shook himself, logistics though. “Since Libero is still sick it will have to wait a bit huh.”</p><p>Fabrizio looked at him in this indescribable way. Like he couldn’t believe it was real. He was still holding onto Ermal and caressed his face. “Ermal, I can’t describe the feelings I have when you remember about my kids even before I do.”</p><p>Ermal didn’t know how to respond. It came naturally. He never knew Fabrizio without his two miracles and so Ermal always perceived them as a unit. That would also have to be a conversation to have, wouldn’t it. “They come first, right?”</p><p>“They are going to their mother’s on Friday, hopefully Libero feels better by then.”</p><p>Friday. Ermal could wait till Friday. He had waited for two years. Consciously. Unconsciously he had probably waited for this for all his life. What was 3 more days.</p><p>“I can do Friday.” He said.</p><p>Fabrizio caressed his hair and embraced him again. “I can’t wait.”</p><p>Ermal escorted him back downstairs and they said their goodbyes by the car. Fabrizio kissed his cheek and got into the car. Ermal felt like he floated back upstairs and to Sofia’s room. That nosy fucker probably didn’t sleep yet anyways. And Ermal <em>couldn’t</em> sleep. He didn’t think he would be able to sleep until Friday.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p>“Does this look okay?”</p><p>“Dude, this looks just as fine as the last three.” Sofia said in a bored tone looking at the screen of her phone more than at Ermal.</p><p>“Sofia, this is important.” He threw a pen from the table at her. “Focus.”</p><p>“No, it is literally not.” She flung the pen back at him. It hit him on the elbow and fell down. “The guy has been in love with you for forever and he will what? Suddenly change his mind over your choice of the fucking shirt?”</p><p>“Still, I want to look good.” He said and added a quieter. “For him.”</p><p>The idea was still so bizarre. He was going on a <em>date</em> with Fabrizio. Fabrizio wanted to go on a date with him. They would go on a date. That was exactly the chain of thought he had been having all week whenever he wasn’t preoccupied with studies or the band and sometimes even when he was.</p><p>“Oi, are you even listening to me!?” Sofia even clapped her hands to get his attention.</p><p>“Sorry, I am distracted tonight.”</p><p>“I wish it was just tonight, you have been <em>distracted</em> the whole week.”</p><p>“I can’t help it, this is very important to me.” He said wringing his hands.</p><p>“I <em>know</em> that, that’s why I am here. Do you think I would sit through all of this jittering right now if I didn’t know how much this means to you?”</p><p>“Thank you Sof, I really needed the support. And I am sorry, what where you saying before?”</p><p>“I said you look good, but maybe it is a good thing you missed the actual words I used.” Ermal glared at her, she shrugged. “Anyways, where are you guys going?”</p><p>“A movie and then dinner.”</p><p>“Aww, cheesy. But cheesy suits you.”</p><p> Ermal could feel his ears go a bit red. “I think I will like cheesy when it is with him.”</p><p>“Aww I like this Ermal, all happy and sweet.”</p><p>“Shut up.”</p><p>“See? All I get is a <em>shut up.</em>” She said mocking his tone.</p><p>His phone announced a message from Bizio. He had just left his house. This shirt would have to do.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>This time, going down the stairs and knowing Fabrizio was there waiting for him, felt completely different. He still needed to take some deep breaths before going out though. Fabrizio was looking gorgeous in a knitted sweater and the coat Ermal had picked out. He was suddenly hit by the thought of how painful it would be to not have this, or of someone else having this. Ermal mentally shook himself. He had never been the jealous type and he won’t start being that now, especially since there was no reason to be.</p><p>“Hey” Fabrizio greeted him and pulled him into a hug.</p><p>“Hi” Ermal mumbled somewhere in Fabri’s shoulder.</p><p>“You look so beautiful.” Fabrizio whispered.</p><p>Ermal wondered how he will survive this evening. “So do you.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>If someone asked Ermal what the movie was about he would maybe say what the protagonist looked like at best. He spent all his time giggling with Fabrizio. They mostly where like this at the cinema anyways but usually they were watching the movie also. And maybe annoying the other people a bit less.</p><p>This time Ermal was too busy making Fabrizio laugh<em> just one more time</em>, that all he caught from the plot was just details. Making Fabri laugh had this great side effect of him catching Ermal’s hand or laughing into his shoulder.</p><p>At one point in a fit of giggles he caught Ermal’s hand and then never let it go. Ermal waited for a heartbeat or two and then caressed his thumb over Fabrizio’s hand. He got a caress back. He waited for a bit again and then intertwined their fingers. Fabrizio squeezed tightly. Ermal liked this game.</p><p> </p><p>When they went out of the cinema, it was already dark outside.</p><p>“Where to next? The night is young.”</p><p>Ermal almost opened his mouth with a witty retort about who was and who wasn’t young, but then stopped himself. It probably wouldn’t be the good tone to make fun of his date. “Well I thought we could walk to this place nearby, get some food.”</p><p>“Alright, which way?” Ermal tugged him into the right direction; streets were pretty busy since it was a Friday night. He held tight to Fabrizio’s hand firstly because he could, secondly to not to lose him. He liked the little bit of intimacy it offered even in the crowded streets of Rome and it was comfortable to hold his hand because their height difference wasn’t that big. Also the novelty of the gesture made his heart flutter a bit.</p><p>Fabrizio looked at him.</p><p>“What is it?”</p><p>“I gave you at least three possibilities to make fun of me tonight, and you haven’t taken any.”</p><p>Ermal was confused. “I don’t want to make fun of you.”</p><p>“You make fun of me all the time; that is how this works.”</p><p> “But this is a date Fabri.” The romance didn’t call for making fun.</p><p>“Yeah but at the same time it isn’t a <em>date </em>date is it?” Fabrizio countered “We have spent so much time together, hanging out, going places. You know me and I know you. Why are you holding yourself back so much? Unless you are feeling awkward? Oh god, is this making you uncomfortable?”</p><p>He let go of his hand. That was the last thing Ermal wanted.</p><p>“No! No, Bizio, I… it’s just that I want this to work out so bad, I didn’t want to make you feel like I don’t care. Because I do! So much.” He felt a bit stupid now.</p><p>“And I want this to work out too, I really like you. I like <em>you, </em>for exactly how you are.”</p><p>Ermal<em> had to</em> blush. He never thought he would see Fabri like this, it was strange and yet so nice.</p><p>“So just to be clear I can still make fun of you?”</p><p>Fabrizio laughed. “I don’t think you will last long without that anyways.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>After a dinner in a bit crowded and busy restaurant they were wandering in the streets of Rome, vaguely in the direction of where Fabrizio parked his car but in no hurry to get to there. The conversation died down a bit, but it was so nice to realize that the silence between them still wasn’t awkward or heavy even in a setting like this.</p><p>They stopped to smoke in a corner of a square where there weren’t many people. The weather was a bit chilly but not cold.</p><p>“This is a wonderful night”</p><p>“It is, and that has nothing to do with the weather” Bizio said looking at him. Flirty Bizio was something to behold.</p><p>“I am a bit cold though” Ermal said putting out his cigarette and throwing it away. Heh, that sounded like a <em>line. </em>He hadn’t meant it like that.</p><p>Fabrizio’s put out his cigarette and his hands wandered around Ermal’s waist underneath the open coat. Ermal placed his over Fabrizio’s shoulders and pulled him closer nuzzling his cheek.</p><p>“So cheesy lines like that work on you huh?” Ermal laughed.</p><p>“What? I am keeping you warm.” Fabrizio chuckled pulling him tighter against himself.</p><p>And indeed he was. He felt Fabrizio’s warmth all around him and he felt his stubble on his cheek. In the dimmed lights of Rome and people’s voices somewhere in the distance, this felt unreal. Fabrizio pulled back slightly and leaned in at a different angle, pushing his forehead against Ermal’s. And this closeness, this side of Bizio that he didn’t know yet was so thrilling. He felt his heartbeat quicken.</p><p>“Can I kiss you?” Fabrizio whispered against his lips.</p><p>“Yes” Ermal breathed. He definitely <em>definitely</em> could.</p><p>A push of warm lips against his own. Ermal felt weak all over, holding onto Fabri’s shoulders. Bizio kissed him gently, catching his lips with his own in this sweet way, making Ermal feel warm and tingly all over. Ermal’s hands wandered into Fabrizio’s hair, pushing closer, <em>closer</em> and more. And Fabrizio let him deepen the kiss, let him explore, but didn’t push back. Ermal let his hands wander away from Bizio’s hair back to his shoulders and then chest. He felt how his heart was beating as fast as his own seemed to. The gentle kiss turned a bit more heated, Ermal felt Bizio lick his upper lip, he pushed closer, opened his mouth a bit more, let Bizio do anything he wanted to him. The warm firm hands on his back made Ermal feel like they were in a bubble, somewhere in space, in another universe. And then a cold nose hit his.</p><p>“Curse of the first kisses” Ermal chuckled nervously shaking himself out of the trance he had been in, still dizzy.</p><p>“Huh?” Fabrizio seemed to be in a similar state, he was breathing hard.</p><p>“It’s what I call it - I have never had a first kiss with anyone that went smoothly.”</p><p>“Ah” Fabrizio chuckled too “It has its charm though, doesn’t it?”</p><p>Ermal looked at him skeptically.</p><p>“I think perfection is overrated, especially in a romantic setting, especially with firsts.” Bizio explained further. “Also your definition of perfection might be warped, because for me this was the most perfect kiss of my life.”</p><p>“That’s super cheesy Fabri, even for you.” That didn’t mean that Ermal didn’t feel weak all over again at hearing those words. Fabrizio laughed and caught him in an embrace again.</p><p>As always Bizio knew exactly what to do and what to say. That was exactly why Ermal was exactly where he was - in love and over the moon.</p><p>“So you want try again?” Fabri suggested in a low tone.</p><p>Ermal leaned in.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>*Shaking in the chair*</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Chapter 12</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>It's pure uncut fluff you guys, I don't know what to summarize here</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Finally FINALLY, I am back. </p>
<p>I've missed this project, but June kind of got away from me. </p>
<p>Hope you enjoy! </p>
<p>FYI - There is a bit that is kind of leading towards a NSFW-ish place.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Ermal entered the completely empty apartment for the umpteenth time. His studies ended earlier than Fabrizio’s work tended to. He could’ve gone to the dorms before going here, but he found this felt better.</p>
<p>He tended to do more of the things that felt good these days. Especially those he <em>could</em> do. And there were lots of those. He could ask Fabrizio on cheesy dates, could kiss him and even fall asleep in his arms sometimes. He could pick up Anita from the kindergarten on his way from uni, so that Fabri didn’t have to make that circle around the city, he could help out Libero with school projects or English. And after an evening spent with Sofia, studying or just hanging out, he could head here - to his <em>boyfriend’s</em> apartment. Saying that word made him feel especially good.</p>
<p>He put down the groceries and sat down on the couch. He had a band practice later in the evening, but there was plenty of time until then. He really should start on the university work. The exams were approaching and so the amount of homework grew and so did Ermal’s desire to jump off of a bridge whenever he was reminded of that fact. He rummaged through his backpack, looking for all of the notes, but then quickly realized that he had forgotten his laptop charger in the dorms.</p>
<p>It had been a couple of weeks from the first time he had stayed over here. Well stayed over in the context of their relationship. It still made him all tingly and jittery. The downside was that now Ermal found more and more of the stuff divided between Bizio’s home and his dorm room and it was a bit irritating when he couldn’t remember what was where anymore.</p>
<p>He heard keys in the door. Bizio’s home. Huh, early.</p>
<p>“Hi love, are you here?” came a voice from the corridor.</p>
<p>“Yes, hi.” He yelled back, still searching his bag for his other notes. At least he could make an effort to start on some exam prep.</p>
<p>Bizio came into the room and hugged him with cold hands, pecking him on the lips. “How was your day?”</p>
<p>“Good good. They are pressuring us about the exams of the semester coming up, me and Sofia will have some busy time ahead. I’ve forgotten my laptop charger at the dorms.” He took Bizio’s hands in his, warming them up.</p>
<p>“You can use my laptop if something is urgent.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s ok, I will pick it up after the band practice, I have that tonight.”</p>
<p>“Did you eat something?”</p>
<p>“No, I actually came here just a bit ago. I bought some groceries, but didn’t want to start cooking anything.”</p>
<p>“Good, you are still not allowed to use my stove without me in the house.”</p>
<p>“Oh fuck you very much, I’ve gotten better at that.”</p>
<p>“Yeah sure, but who is to be thanked for that, huh?” Fabrizio teased, while looking around the kitchen and probably deciding what to make.</p>
<p>“I’ve had the best teacher, yes.” He went up to him and hugged him around the middle from behind, burying his face in his neck. He still smelled like cold outside air. “How was your day?”</p>
<p>Fabrizio turned around in his arms, facing him.</p>
<p>“Actually great. I finished with a car faster than I thought I would and Claudio said he will handle the shop today. I jumped at the chance to come home to some peace and quiet.”</p>
<p>“And me.”</p>
<p>“And you.” Fabrizio agreed, kissing his nose.</p>
<p>This was the best part. Ermal leaned in and kissed him. Just a sweet light pressure. Even though after hundreds of kisses he knew well what Fabri’s lips felt like against his, it just kept feeling more and more amazing. Fabrizio wrapped his arms around Ermal’s neck and deepened the kiss. That never failed to make him all tingly. He pushed Fabri against the kitchen counter trying to get closer, pushing his hands underneath Fabrizio’s jumper.</p>
<p>They broke away, breathless.</p>
<p>“Okay, so what do we want for dinner?” Fabri chuckled, regaining his composure.</p>
<p>Ermal laughed. This was the best of all feelings.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Friday came around faster than ever. Ermal had the pre-performance jitters and couldn’t settle down for anything. Right now, looking into the mirror trying to make himself presentable was the hardest thing.</p>
<p>“Does this look okay? I don’t know anymore.” He asked Fabri, who just entered the room, barefoot and with his hair wet.</p>
<p>“You make fun of my clothes on daily basis, so why are you addressing this question to me?”</p>
<p>“Fabri, just tell me if I look good, you can tell as much.”</p>
<p>“You look good in absolutely everything, love.”</p>
<p>“Should have predicted that answer.” Ermal rolled his eyes.</p>
<p>“Should have.” He said while hugging him from behind and kissing him on the temple. He was so warm from the shower and smelled so good. “But you do look good now, if my opinion counts for something.”</p>
<p>“Of course it does.” Ermal was distracted by the reflection in the mirror though. Not of him, but of them together. He was still dumbfounded by the fact that he had this. These last couple of weeks he had been living like in a dream. Seeing it in the reflected reality of the mirror made it all real again.</p>
<p>“Oh shit, I will be late for the warm up.” Ermal shook himself out of his thoughts and frantically tried to get all of his things together, phone, where was his phone?</p>
<p>“The show starts at nine, right?” Fabrizio handed him his phone from the bed.</p>
<p>“Yep. Nine” he distractedly gathered up his things, placed a kiss on Fabrizio’s forehead and went out. He yelled from the corridor, while putting on his coat. “You are invited by the way!”</p>
<p>Fabrizio’s laughter sounded from the room “I assumed as much.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>One more thing that made Ermal absolutely happy was being on stage. These Fridays when they were playing he cherished so much. The people, the energy gave him such a rush and although he would be tired afterwards, on the stage he was completely charged. This time though, the people weren’t as important as that one set of brown eyes he kept finding in the crowd. Every time their eyes met Ermal felt warmth spreading all throughout his body from all the love and adoration that he found in those eyes.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Bizio!” Ermal went to hug him the moment he came off the stage.</p>
<p>“I am doing okay also, if anyone’s wondering” Andrea said loudly.</p>
<p>“Oh Andrea, that’s adorable. Give me a high five,” Sofia extended her hand “We are in the same boat now, you know, second class. The <em>others.</em>”</p>
<p>“Haha right, you are saying that as if we weren’t that before. Ever since the beginning Bizio this, Bizio that…” Andrea teased.</p>
<p>“Oh shut up” Ermal promptly blushed and murmured under his breath “I wasn’t like that”</p>
<p>“Oooh baby it was embarrassing how much <em>like that</em> you were.” Sofia said.</p>
<p>“Are you just set on embarrassing me tonight?” Ermal asked, still red although he blamed that on the exhaustion. “Because if we are talking embarrassing might I remind you of the time when you…”</p>
<p>“Oooh Ermalmeta, do not start a story you do not want to finish” she said trying to look intimidating. Adorable. As if he could ever be shut up by a look.</p>
<p>He smiled sweetly at her “It seems like you are the one who doesn’t want me to finish this story. So maybe zip it.”</p>
<p>“Ok, ok, fair point. Guys, he has too much blackmail material on me for my own good.”</p>
<p>Smart move.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Nice set as usual.” Sofia said when he sat down next to her.</p>
<p>“Thanks” they clinked their bottles together. “I hope you were not serious about that joke.”</p>
<p>“Which one?”</p>
<p>“The, you know, me abandoning you all for Bizio. You don’t feel like that, right?” although he knew she was joking, but he wanted to make sure.</p>
<p>“Of course not, it was a joke.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want you to feel like I am abandoning you for him. Cause I definitely don’t want to do that.” Sofia had to know she was important. As were all of his other friends. But Sofia was <em>important</em>.</p>
<p>“I know baby, I was just teasing you. With this all being so new there are so many possibilities to fluster you, and I wouldn’t forgive myself for missing a single one.”</p>
<p>“Such an asshole” he nudged her with his shoulder. Sofia laughed.</p>
<p>“The hard work of being the best friend is never over.” She said, flicking her hair.</p>
<p>“But you will tell me if I start being a dick, right?”</p>
<p>Sofia laughed again “When have I ever refrained from telling you, you are being a dick?”</p>
<p> They both laughed. Touché. </p>
<p>“So no dancing for you today huh?” she teased. “You are probably too sober for that.”</p>
<p>“We will head out in a minute” Ermal shrugged.</p>
<p>“I knew you both would turn into an old married couple in like two days. Abandoning your friends and leaving parties before it’s even midnight…” she sighed and took a sip of her beer. “The sex better be worth it, Ermal, otherwise this is just gross.”</p>
<p>“I am not discussing my sex life with you. Disgusting.”</p>
<p>She looked at him “Oh my god, so you haven’t yet! So you are <em>definitely</em> <em>that</em> gross.”</p>
<p>“Sofia!” he hissed.</p>
<p>“Ok ok” she raised her hands in defeat “I am shutting up. Gross though.”</p>
<p>“You are the gross one.”</p>
<p>She punched him on the arm “I am happy for you, even though you both are like so disgusting.”  </p>
<p>“Thanks, Sofia. I love you.” She probably knew that, but sometimes it was worth saying it out loud.</p>
<p>“Love you too. Now go to your boyfriend, he looks very awkward and lonely there.”</p>
<p>He really did. Ermal was hit with another wave of warm affection for his Bizio, who went to see his shows despite the fact that this student bar scene was far out of his comfort zone.</p>
<p>“I will see you on Sunday probably!” he said while getting up.</p>
<p>She waved at him with her beer bottle.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When they got back to Fabri’s place it wasn’t even midnight yet. Maybe Sofia had had a point about them being an old married couple.</p>
<p>“I am going to take shower, since I feel like I am more sweat than human right now.”</p>
<p>“Sure.”</p>
<p>After a shower he felt a lot more human and less sticky. Fabrizio was waiting for him on the bed while looking at something on the phone.</p>
<p>“Sofia sent some pictures, seems like they are having a good time.”</p>
<p>He showed Ermal a photo of Sofia dancing with Andrea.</p>
<p>“I am being replaced huh. Cool, I think Andrea is better at that anyways.”</p>
<p>“And you don’t sound bitter at all.” Fabri teased.</p>
<p>“Let the girl have her fun. She called us an old married couple, since we are now leaving parties before they even start.”</p>
<p>“Is it bad that I want you here with me and not at a party today?”</p>
<p>“No, cause I want the same thing. I really wasn’t feeling like being there when I could spend my time with you here. ”</p>
<p>He put that stupid phone aside and sat in Fabrizio’s lap. He wanted Bizio’s full attention on him.</p>
<p>“Hi” Fabrizio said, putting his hands around Ermal’s waist.</p>
<p>“Hey” Ermal whispered.</p>
<p>“How did I get this lucky?”</p>
<p>“Well you did save me from walking to Rome on foot once.” Ermal shrugged his shoulders and leaned in to nuzzle his face.</p>
<p>Fabrizio chuckled. “You were all panicked there and then I swooped in like a Prince Charming.”</p>
<p>“Hey I wasn’t panicking!” He pulled away. What an outrageous thought.</p>
<p>“Sure, sure. So I guess I just don’t remember it correctly, because as far as I remember you were looking all stressed out and five minutes away from a panic attack.” Fabrizio said while playing with the hem of his t-shirt. Ermal could feel his fingers touching skin in a light tease.  </p>
<p>“I was calm and collected.” Ermal said in his most confident voice, placing his hands on those strong shoulders.</p>
<p>“Mhm.” Fabrizio murmured into his hair “You were cute.”</p>
<p>“Was I? I was probably looking like a mess.”</p>
<p>“Nope. Just all flustered and sweaty and miserable.”</p>
<p>“So a mess. Was that why you stopped?” Ermal laughed.</p>
<p>“I don’t know why I stopped. Just wanted to help.”</p>
<p>“And that you did.  And ever since that you are saving me.”</p>
<p>“You are saving me, more like.”</p>
<p>Fabrizio wrapped his hands around Ermal’s thighs and switched their positions. And if that wasn’t the hottest thing that had ever happened to Ermal.</p>
<p>He wasn’t given much time to appreciate the view of Fabrizio above him, since he was swiftly kissed. Not that Ermal complained. Like this, with the comfortable weight of the man he loved above him and his lips on his lips, this was the best place to be. This way he could feel everything, he could run his hands up Fabrizio’s back underneath the shirt making him squirm, push him closer, deepen the kiss, bite his lips.</p>
<p>Fabrizio clearly enjoyed his enthusiasm, he broke the kiss to breathe and moved to kiss his neck. Ermal encouraged that, and moaned when the kisses turned into bites turned into licks and a bit of sucking too. He put his hands in Fabri’s hair.</p>
<p>Fabrizio started thrusting against his hips. Ermal squeezed his hips with his legs, to get a bit more of that sensation.</p>
<p>Bizio was moving away. No no no…</p>
<p>“No, Bizio, where are you going.” He asked a bit breathless.</p>
<p>“Do you want to continue?” his voice sounded so broken.</p>
<p>“Is that okay with you?” probably should ask not assume.</p>
<p>“Completely.” Fabrizio smiled at him. “You are driving me crazy.”</p>
<p>Ermal could hardly believe that, but at the same time there was enough evidence for that to be true.</p>
<p>“Bizio it’s just me” Ermal sensed his nervousness.</p>
<p>“There is nothing <em>“just” </em>about you, sweetheart.” He said, cupping his cheek. “Want to make you feel good.”</p>
<p>“What happened to the “perfection is overrated” philosophy?” Ermal couldn’t help himself.</p>
<p>“I still stand by that, but I want this to be good for you.”</p>
<p>“It already is, don’t worry about anything.” They were so compatible everywhere else, he had no doubt they would be in this also.</p>
<p>“So can we go back to the kissing? I liked that.” Ermal wanted to get back on track here.</p>
<p>Fabrizio kissed his neck sweetly, peppering kisses up from his neck, to jaw to cheek. Ermal was getting lost in it all again.</p>
<p>“I like learning new things.” Fabrizio said while stroking some curls back away from his face “And I will enjoy this learning experience.”</p>
<p>Oh Ermal knew he was going to enjoy it too.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Ermal spent a glorious Saturday lazing about in the house with Fabrizio. With this new sense of intimacy came another level of comfort around them. He was so happy that this relationship came so naturally in everything. Sadly, he had to go to his dorm room for Sunday to study since Fabrizio was picking up the kids in the afternoon and he didn’t want to intrude on some bonding. After an almost full week spent in the apartment that was filled with so many great memories, his dorm room felt a bit… lonely. He quickly gathered his things and headed up to Sofia’s room. It would be easier to concentrate with her panicky energy around. She got super stressed out for exams.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Next week was Fabri’s week with the kids. Ermal knew Fabri had missed them and realized himself that he missed them too. They seemed to be fine with him being here more often which made Ermal happy. It had almost sent him into a panic attack in the beginning, always worrying what if the kids didn’t like this new arrangement? What if they would hate him now? Fabrizio just shook his head and said that by now out of the two of them the kids would choose Ermal over him.</p>
<p>In the end the kids where completely fine with them being together. Anita didn’t really understand it yet, but she was ecstatic that Ermal stayed over more often than not. It meant more play time, more stories and pillow forts for her. Libero, although a bit less enthusiastic than Anita, also was fine with it. Contrary to Anita he could already understand what romantic relationships meant and it was grossing him out a bit. But that was no different than Giada and her new husband, they grossed him out too.</p>
<p>It was on Tuesday evening when Ermal was busy making pillow fort with Anita and all her toys while Libero was pretending to not be interested, that he was blindsided by a question.</p>
<p>“Why are you not living with us, Ermal?” asked Libero, serious.</p>
<p>Anita also stuck her head out of the pillows to see what was happening.</p>
<p>Ermal was stuck in-between their questioning gazes, unable to catch Fabrizio’s.</p>
<p>“It’s not that easy you see.” Ermal started. He really didn’t want this conversation to happen.</p>
<p>“Why?” Anita asked.</p>
<p>He didn’t know what to say. Only children had this amazing ability to ambush a person with questions that are so unexpected and in most unexpected of times. And since he didn’t know what Fabri was thinking….</p>
<p>“Ermal has his studies, he can’t hang out with you both all the time.” Fabrizio finally chimed in.</p>
<p>“I have school too, but I live here.” Libero said, confused.</p>
<p>“It’s a bit different honey. But he might live here one day, would that be fine with you?” Fabrizio was still avoiding his eyes.</p>
<p>Ermal felt like he was <em>this</em> close to a heart attack. Probably so was Fabri.</p>
<p>“Yes!” both of the kids exclaimed. Ermal felt the calm wash over him like a wave.</p>
<p>“But hey, I am here right now, so are we making the fort or not?” hoping it would distract them from the topic. Both kids joined in and started to babble on about pillow forts and blankets and stories.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When Fabrizio came back from the kids’ room, successfully having put them to sleep, Ermal was cleaning up the pillows from the pillow fort. And the toys. And the books. Fabrizio sat down on the couch that was halfway to looking normal again, looking at Ermal.</p>
<p>“I should start officially offering my services as a pillow fort maker. I think I have practiced enough to go professional.” Ermal said, while putting last of the toys from the couch in the basket.</p>
<p>“You could, you know.”</p>
<p>“What, start official pillow fort making business?” he laughed.</p>
<p>“That too but no, move in. Officially.”</p>
<p>Oh. <em>Oh. </em>That was unexpected. Maybe should have been expected though, he could feel Sofia rolling her eyes at him and not even knowing the reason why.</p>
<p>“Or you know, not, no pressure, I know it is pretty soon.” Fabrizio said, clearly misunderstanding his silence. “Kids are just excited by you being around so much and they have their questions, obviously.”</p>
<p>“Wait, don’t do that, don’t deflect…. I just need a minute to process you looking so beautiful and saying such beautiful things to me.” He sat down next to Fabri, turning to him and taking his hands in his.</p>
<p>“I would love it. Children would be ecstatic, they love you so much.” Fabrizio said while still not meeting his eyes but playing with his fingers “Come live with us.”</p>
<p>He finally lifted his eyes from their joined hands and Ermal met his gaze that started out reassuring but turned a bit more questioning every second. Oh yeah, right, Fabrizio was waiting for his answer.</p>
<p>“I would love to.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hope you liked this bit of absolute fluff.</p>
<p>Let me know if you did! :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Epilogue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Happy endings come in various shapes and sizes, don't they.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So here we are, in the epilogue of this little story. </p>
<p>Enjoy, as usual! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>December passed in a blur through exams and Ermal spent most of those pre-holiday weeks in dorms with Sofia freaking each other out, drinking coffee and sleeping like two hours a day. Sofia took the news that he would move in near future as he expected her to.</p>
<p>“It’s fine Ermalmeta, even when you lived in dorms you spent most of your time in my room so I didn’t see the point of you paying for your room anyways.” She had said and that was the end of that discussion. She had probably expected it, but needed some time to process and analyze. Ermal gave her some time for that.</p>
<p>Holiday season also passed much more quickly than Ermal wanted it to. He went back home to visit his family. He was so happy to see everyone and catch up that Christmas came and went without him even noticing. As went all of the opportunities to tell them about his new relationship. They had discussed everything – his studies, his siblings’ schools, mom’s new job, his own job opportunities, grandma’s health, the food, the newest events, but it never seemed to be a good place to tell them about Fabrizio.</p>
<p>He was kind of ashamed how it went in the end. He blurted it out on the same day he was set to leave for Rome again in such a by the way manner that everyone needed a moment to process the words. It was okay, of course it was okay. Everyone was very enthusiastic and since he talked about Fabrizio so much ever since they first met, at least he didn’t have the “when how and where did you meet” questions. On the second hand, he did get the “where how and when did you start dating” questions, which weren’t that better to answer. When he got into the train to head back to Rome, he was exhausted and embarrassed but at least it was over and done with.</p>
<p>Fabrizio met him in the train station and he couldn’t be happier about it. He had missed him, considering how busy December had been for both of them, they didn’t get to hang out nearly as much as Ermal wanted to. It was so good to fall into his Bizio’s arms again and go home. Although he hadn’t yet moved in, but <em>soon</em>. Now that the semester was over and Christmas celebrated, there was nothing in his way anymore. He clasped Fabrizio’s hand while walking through the train station to the car. <em>Soon</em>.</p>
<p>They didn’t go out for the New Years. Sofia had got some last minute plans with friends in Paris, because she was Sofia. Kids were with their mother visiting her family. Both had declined the invitations for parties from their friends. Ermal couldn’t imagine a party he would want to be at after the month he had. He wanted his Bizio and some peace, before life caught him up in a new wave.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The big migration day as Sofia called it happened on January 5th, which was Saturday.</p>
<p>Ermal had anticipated that he would have more stuff in his room than he did. Everything fit in two suitcases.</p>
<p>Sofia came to his room with a bag.</p>
<p>“What’s that?”</p>
<p>“Your stuff from my room, I thought if you move out of the dorms you will move out of both of the rooms you lived in.”</p>
<p>He looked at her one more time and noticed she was wearing his no prob—llama (with a llama) hoodie.</p>
<p>“Hey, that is also mine.” He pointed at the sweater.</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m keeping that one.”</p>
<p>“Hey, it’s mine though! It is the coolest thing I’ve found in a thrift shop ever!”</p>
<p>“When was the last time you put it on though? It has been in my room for weeks. You live in either your stupid patterned shirts or Fabrizio’s hoodies now!” she protested. “Also you might as well leave me with something here.”</p>
<p>“Sofia…” His shirts weren’t stupid. Also there were more emotions on her face right now than he had seen all throughout their friendship.</p>
<p>“I know I know, it’s embarrassing to get emotional now of all times. You’ve basically lived with Fabri for the last months anyways. But now that this room has actually been stripped bare and has even less personality that when you lived here…”</p>
<p>“Hey!” Of course she had to insult him in between saying nice things.</p>
<p>“…it hits me that I’m gonna miss you.” She finished.</p>
<p>Ermal took her hand “I am not disappearing anywhere, you know.”</p>
<p>“I <em>know</em> that, but you won’t be 18 steps down the stairs and a corridor away.”</p>
<p>“I’m gonna miss you too, Sofi.” Although the dorms hadn’t felt like home for Ermal for a while now, it was strange being so far away from Sofia for extended periods of time.</p>
<p>“So I can keep the hoodie?”</p>
<p>“Oh fuck you, fine, keep it. I am gonna come visit it though.”</p>
<p>“Sure, I might even let you take it out on walks.”</p>
<p>“Will that be with you attached to it or nah?”</p>
<p>“Does that influence your decision?”</p>
<p>He looked at her as if contemplating.</p>
<p>“Such an ass.” She pushed him with her shoulder.</p>
<p>Ermal sat down on the bed and took a look around. Sofia sat down beside him.</p>
<p>His phone beeped. He unlocked it to see a picture of Fabrizio’s closet with what he recognized were his own shirts on hangers and some of his sweaters thrown over the bar haphazardly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Wanted to clear out some space in the closet for you, but realized it’s already mostly yours…</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>Ermal was hit with that fuzzy feeling again that didn’t seem to go away ever when he was around Bizio.</p>
<p>“Aww, at least I am glad that your stuff will now be Fabrizio’s problem and not mine.” She said while looking over his shoulder.</p>
<p>“He whines about that much less than you do.”</p>
<p>“Just tell me if he starts to, I’m gonna set him right again.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god, don’t pull the older sibling talk on him please.”</p>
<p> “I don’t need to talk, I can just glare at him and it will be fine.” she shrugged.</p>
<p>“You are not even my sister…”</p>
<p>“Your actual siblings are too far and too young for this, I am stepping in for now. Also, I am the BFF, I am allowed to glare.”</p>
<p>“Oh my god.” he said into his hands.</p>
<p>“It’s not like I think I will have to, Ermal, but if you ever need me to, I will.”</p>
<p>“Stand down, I can manage my own relationship okay?” this was embarrassing, but also kinda nice to know she was so protective of him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, I guess you have him wrapped around your finger anyways.”</p>
<p>What did that even mean? He opened his mouth to argue, but his phone announced a message again.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Are you done with packing yet? </em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>He smiled at the message, Bizio missed him.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>Almost, will head out in a bit. </em>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So are you ready?” Sofia jumped up from the bed.</p>
<p>“I think so, I don’t see anything left here.”</p>
<p>“Ok then let’s go, I’m gonna help you get this all downstairs.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, Sof.”</p>
<p>She went out carrying one of the bags. He took one last look around and closed and locked the door one last time. Time to head home.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Sofia hated to admit that it had been a strange semester without Ermal in the dorms and she never really got used to it. After 5 years spent in between two floors and two small dorm rooms, when she was left with only one, it felt a bit too tiny. And her bed seemed a bit too big sometimes without a couple more limbs in it. Like, she knew it was going to happen, realistically, even before the actual relationship happened. When Fabrizio entered Ermal’s life, she had known.  </p>
<p>Ermal wasn’t broken as she was. He wanted a relationship. And for her… this was a relationship. This great co-habitation between two people and two rooms, where there was no expectation of romance or anything physical apart from hugs. Ermal was the closest person to her for all of these years. And although Ermal still was that for her, she wasn’t that for Ermal anymore and she had to let go.</p>
<p>And she did. Now it was different. Perhaps not worse but definitely different. She still met him in uni, they still did their homework or exam prep together, she could bike to their apartment and meet him, hang out in the city.</p>
<p>The bond surprisingly, was never broken even though they spent longer between meetings and she didn’t have him around 24/7. Sofia expected missed calls, unanswered texts and “maybe some other time”s, but that never happened. Ermal always made an effort to hang out, to call, to send her a meme or involve her in his new life.</p>
<p>But Ermal had moved on from dorms, maybe she also had to.</p>
<p>So she spent her free and or sleepless nights on the internet, between tabs of job applications and tabs of apartments for rent.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The last exams took all of her power. It had been exhausting and terrifying and totally worth it when she understood that she would graduate with honors. When Anita and Libero went up to her and gave her flowers on the graduation day, she even forgot about her parents she didn’t invite. When all of the university stuff was finally over, that fucking wedding loomed over her. Ermal had promised to come with and he kept good on that promise. He even went with her to pick a dress.</p>
<p>She refused to spend more than absolutely necessary on it, so first they went thrifting. She didn’t find anything, because of course not. First rule of thrift shops – don’t come in with a goal – you will find everything but that. Ermal found a headband with the most ridiculous wobbly halo hearts. Sofia laughed to tears watching them jump around in his curls.</p>
<p> “Oh take a picture, it will last longer.” Ermal laughed along with her.</p>
<p>“Can I take a picture? I think Fabri would appreciate if I sent him this” she took out her phone all ready to take video evidence.</p>
<p>He took off the headband and snatched the phone out of her hands (when did he get such quick reflexes?).</p>
<p>“You are a liability, Sofia Renard.” He hissed, pointing at her.</p>
<p>She laughed at him some more.</p>
<p>She ended up buying a dress that wasn’t super expensive anyways. Ermal said that with her appearance she could wear a garbage bag and look completely fine. She said that she would antagonize her parents with her tattoos alone, no need for any further extras.</p>
<p>Finally the day of the wedding came. Sofia refused to go there any earlier than necessary so she and Ermal would head out just in time to get there for the ceremony. She was already dreading meeting her relatives, she was spinning the keys of her rental car (“I have a car Sofia, I could’ve driven us” ”I don’t care if Fabrizio fixed it for the millionth time, that pumpkin should have never been turned into a carriage, I’d rather rent”) and waiting for Ermal to get ready.</p>
<p>They still had lots of time, but she couldn’t sit in her dorm room anymore. So she was sitting here. And drinking tea. At least the kids were entertaining and distracting her, making her play with the cars, making them crash into stuff, furniture and other cars. Just the kind of destructive fun she needed right now.</p>
<p>“Do the green one!” she said, watching Libero crash the car he was controlling with precision in the side of the green one yeeting it towards the armchair Fabrizio was sitting in.</p>
<p>She cheered alongside Anita.</p>
<p>“Ok I am ready, are we good to go?” Ermal said, entering the room and going to hug Fabrizio.</p>
<p>“Well, well do you look sharp.” He really did. The blue suit worked on him very nicely.</p>
<p>“He always does.” Fabrizio pecked him on the lips. Ermal looked like an idiot, all in love.</p>
<p>“Disgusting, right?” Sofia whispered loudly to Libero, who was right next to her. </p>
<p>He nodded at her. Finally finding someone to understand his struggles he sighed. “They are always like this.”</p>
<p>Ermal laughed at their identically scrunched up faces. “Let’s go before you blow up.”</p>
<p>Sofia waved goodbye to the kids and walked to the door alongside Ermal and Fabrizio. Fabrizio kissed Ermal one more time and said to her “Bring him back to me safe and sound ok?”</p>
<p>“Of course, don’t worry.”</p>
<p> It was disgusting, all of this. But also sweet. She was glad it all worked out for them. </p>
<p>While they were walking down the stairs Ermal was scrutinizing her.  </p>
<p>“What is it?” she asked, concerned.</p>
<p>“I swear I still see some pink in your hair... ”</p>
<p>“Oh fuck you.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The wedding was … nice. If one excluded all the straight bullshit that gave Sofia shudders it was … nice. She greeted her parents, who were all so civil and her sister who was all so happy and her new husband who seemed… fine. It was awkward standing there in between her family, in the church and later in the photos. It was painfully obvious how out of place she was here. She didn’t belong there in their cookie cutter life –in the straight lines of the church aisles and in the lines of wedding photos.</p>
<p>She realized she didn’t know any of these people. 5 years gone by changed not only her but them also and she didn’t know any of these people anymore. And she didn’t know if she wanted to. And so she let go. Funnily enough, it had been more painful to let go of Ermal than it was to let go of them. It didn’t slip past her that her parents did not come up to her to talk either. But like she predicted, the food was amazing and so was the wine. Ermal volunteered to drive them back so she indulged herself.</p>
<p>“I applied for the doctorate program the other day.” She spit out when she and Ermal were sitting outside, the faint sounds of music and people talking coming from the wedding venue.</p>
<p>“Sofia!” that wasn’t a human sound he made. “That’s amazing!”</p>
<p>“They haven’t accepted me yet, don’t be so emotional” she hated to admit how worried she was over it, she needed Ermal to tell her it’s going to be ok. She hoped he could read her enough for that.</p>
<p>“They will, they would be stupid not to.”</p>
<p>She smiled at that. Of course he caught on “I hope they do.”</p>
<p>“You graduated with the highest grade in the entire course, you are brilliant and you could get any job you wanted to. They will accept you.” He sounded very sure. She also started to feel more confident.</p>
<p>“I figured I can bullshit my way through a PhD degree, right?”</p>
<p>“I’m so proud of you.” He said, hugging her again.</p>
<p>And that was all the validation she could ever need. </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>***</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fabrizio finally recognized the feeling he kept having these days – it was content.</p>
<p>When Ermal finally came to his place for good on that evening of January 5<sup>th</sup>, he knew his heart was finally heading towards being content with something.</p>
<p>“Welcome home, love” he simply said, when he had helped get the stuff from the car and they both entered the apartment.</p>
<p>And Ermal had smiled that beautiful smile of his and kissed him, first pushing him against the wall of the corridor and then pushing him on the bed. Unpacking would have to wait a bit.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had fallen into their routine around each other so easily. Just as easy as it had been to fall for Ermal, it was easy to be with him too. Neither of them were fussy, but at the same time Fabrizio had expected more of an adjustment period than there was. Since there wasn’t any. They had just fallen into it just like they had fallen into their relationship as friends and then as lovers.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>It had been almost painful to let him go to the wedding with Sofia. He was all so beautiful in the blue suit. His thoughts wandered to inappropriate places so fast. And not only that. Ermal was just so breathtaking and Fabrizio was so in love. He felt his perfume while Ermal was hugging him and never wanted to let go. But sadly, he had to. And for more than 24 hours.</p>
<p>Ermal came back in the early hours of the morning. Although he was trying to be quiet, it didn’t actually work with Fabrizio who was tuned into the smallest of noises since he had kids.</p>
<p>“..you so early?” first part of the sentence was muffled by the pillow.</p>
<p>“Some families just suck, you know?” Ermal said flatly. “Sorry I woke you up…”</p>
<p>“Don’t be, what time is it?”</p>
<p>“6:43” Ermal said while taking of his shirt and changing into a t-shirt.</p>
<p>“So the wedding was shit?”</p>
<p>“The wedding was great, it is the family that is shit.”</p>
<p>“Hmm. How is Sofia?”</p>
<p>“She will be ok, we shared some amazing coffee and donuts from the gas station on the way here.” Ermal assured him, crawling in the bed and hugging him from behind. “And also she is getting a PhD degree and sticking it in all of their faces. Not that they would care, or ask her about it, the assholes.”</p>
<p> “She is going for doctorate?”</p>
<p>“Yes”</p>
<p>“Good for her.” He said, covering Ermal’s hands with his. “I am proud of her. And good that you took her back to Rome. Some battles are just not worth it.”</p>
<p>Sometimes even the best of intentions do not lead to a good resolution. At least she tried.</p>
<p>“It’s true. We bailed fairly quickly. But the food was good.”</p>
<p>“At least I know you were fed, that’s good.” He chuckled.</p>
<p>“I am exhausted though, it was a day, definitely.”</p>
<p>“Sleep, love” he said soothingly, kissing his hand.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Fabrizio didn’t know who was more excited by the trip to the zoo – the kids or Ermal. Ermal had done the research and there were indeed hippos in the zoo in Rome. So he was excited to take the kids there and the kids were mirroring that energy right back. Fabrizio hardly got any of them to eat breakfast before they <em>absolutely had to go</em>.</p>
<p>When they got to the zoo, it was pretty crowded as was usual for a nice summer Saturday. They got the tickets and the map and the first thing that had to be seen were the hippos. Obviously. Anita had even taken her hippo with her to meet the family. And now she was sitting on Ermal’s shoulders chanting about hippos swinging her pink hippo around.</p>
<p>When they got there, Ermal put her back on the ground and she and Libero run up to the bars. You could see the hippos in the water, happily enjoying the day.</p>
<p>“Papa look, but they are not pink…” Anita said in a confused voice.</p>
<p>Fabrizio resisted the urge to burst out laughing.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>When he was heading home after yet another hard day at work, he knew what was waiting for him at home and instantly, it was all worth it. Now that his car place was actually getting him some money, and he had figured out the accounting he was pretty content with that too. Of course he had to deal with the rich assholes who owned the cars but mostly he had to deal with the <em>cars</em> <em>themselves. </em>And those were gorgeous.</p>
<p>He was pretty content in general actually. He liked the evenings spent together with Ermal in the daily routine. He like jamming with him sometimes, when Ermal had some free time and courage to show him a new piece he was working on. He loved listening to him sing and Ermal took all of his suggestions seriously. Ermal liked to listen to him too. It was pure magic.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>They had taken Fabrizio’s car one late August evening and went out of the city to watch the falling stars. They were far enough out of the city so that the light pollution didn’t intrude as much and you could see some actual stars.</p>
<p>“Imagine going to watch Aurora somewhere in the north like this.” they were sitting on the hood of the car, under a blanket sharing a cup of coffee.</p>
<p>“I’ve always wanted to, but never had the time or the money to travel there.” Fabrizio admitted.</p>
<p>Ermal turned to him “We could go somewhere, you know. Enjoy your life while you are still young-ish, old man.”</p>
<p>He pinched his belly. But then he realized… he really could. They could travel, just as they went out places, like today. To just be. To just enjoy. </p>
<p>“I would like to travel with you. We could make some plans when you can get a vacation in your new job.” He said, the feeling of contentedness in his heart again.</p>
<p>“I wouldn’t mind that.” Ermal said while watching a star fall and finding his hand with his.</p>
<p>“Me neither.” He smiled, squeezing tightly.</p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <em>“I don't mind you hangin' out</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And talkin' in your sleep</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>It doesn't matter where you've been</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>As long as it was deep, yeah</em>
</p>
<p>
  
</p>
<p>
  <em>You always knew to wear it well and</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>You look so fancy I can tell</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And I don't mind you hangin' out</em>
</p>
<p>
  <em>And talkin' in your sleep”</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>God this was so long. I just couldn’t seem to let them all go… <br/>I had to give them all a happy ending, so here we are.<br/>Also, here we are, 30000(!) words later. I feel bittersweet about finishing this actually, I will miss this project. <br/>Thank you for being here and reading along this little adventure. <br/>Special shout-out of course goes to KittyHawke for cheering me on. I lived for your comments and you inspired me to write and actually finish this, so thank you! &lt;3<br/>Thank you all, I hope you enjoyed! &lt;3</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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